Peach and Pearl

Snakes/Snails/Puppy Dog Tails

2008-10-17T14:41:00.001-07:00

We found out this morning that we are going to have a boy! His umbilical cord was right in the way for most of the scan, so our nurse-midwife wants to double check the gender as well as some other things at the next appointment. However, I got a clear glimpse towards the end of the show and there isn't any doubt in my mind. We are going to have a son!

This news and the fact that I've been tending Pearl through a throwing-up bug has made it all kinds of an exciting and emotional day. Poor girl was clingy and tearful and unreasonable getting ready for the appointment, and on the way home she threw up in her car seat - a real 'aha, that's what's going on' moment. She is, thankfully, feeling much better now.

Ultrasounds are such neat things. It's so neat to see your little one wiggling away, putting an image to what you feel from the inside, to catch a glimpse of a little hand, an ear, toes...

September

2008-09-30T13:35:00.001-07:00

September is a beautiful month where I live - cool air, blue skies, and warm, golden sunshine. Here at the end of the month the leaves are starting to blush and drop, and darkness falls early.

It's been a busy month. My little brother got married, and Pearl was a flower girl alongside her cousin. Belly dancing classes started up again so I've been enjoying an increase in exercise and girly time. My second-trimester belly is growing, rounding, poking out the bottom of regular-sized shirts - time to pack them away for awhile. That's not the only thing being packed... tomorrow we get the keys to a new place, and this weekend we move in. So our household has been a whirlwind of cleaning, purging, packing, and all the other things that need to be done before one moves.

I'm excited about the new place but so ready for moving to be over. Pearl will be moving into her own bedroom when we go so we've been preparing her for that change. She seems to be taking to the idea well, but we'll see how it goes in reality. She already falls asleep in the room alone and usually sleeps through the night until the early morning hours when she crawls to my bed and snuggles up with me, sometimes sleeping longer and sometimes not. I may very well have a harder time adjusting than she does.

Eleven Weeks

2008-08-22T14:54:00.000-07:00

Ending my long absence here to say that we are expecting someone new in mid-March, 2009:

This morning we had a quick ultrasound with our CNM that showed this little baby, heart beating along strongly - wonderful sight to see. It makes it seem a lot more real and it is very reassuring to know that things are progressing well.

Thirty-Two Months Old

2008-02-02T11:36:00.000-08:00

Thirty-two months old sounds awfully close to thirty-six months old - hard to believe I'll soon have a three-year-old on my hands!

The world is a big, fun place for Pearl right now! She loves pushing the little toddler-size shopping carts at the local natural foods coop, but is understanding and willing to ride in the cart when I need to get more than a few items. She enjoys walking to the park that is a few blocks away from this new house, though she hates the wind, and being winter there's a lot of cold gusts blowing. Every ride in the car is a study and report of traffic lights and vehicles, every visit with family a delight that should never end, every trip to the library a procession of wonderful books to read - still Pearl's favorite thing to do.

Her play is both more imaginative and more imitative. She feeds and bathes her toys and dolls, and acts out situations she remembers from stories and videos and real life. The corners of the piece of bread she's eating become kangaroos, and she hops them around her plate. I do not tell her not to play with her food.

Pearl enjoys working in the kitchen with me and playing alongside as I cook. This month she's been very into playing with jars and lids of various sizes, and shaking out spices at my direction. One of her aunts got us some kits of growing herbs indoors and Pearl helped me plant the seeds and check for sprouts every day. She was very excited to see the seedlings and prompts me to 'check the plants' each morning.

We set out a bird feeder this month too, and after telling her that we'd have to wait for the birds to find it, she was thrilled when they did and enjoys watching them when they visit it.

Because of the dry winter air, I've been putting lotion on Pearl's skin after she bathes. In doing so we have discovered that her toes are very ticklish, or, as she says, "Your toes are so tickly!" She will grab them herself then chortle and shriek.

Throughout the month, she has been roughly alternating between days where she takes a long nap in the afternoon and goes to bed late, and days where she is up from 8 until 8 with no nap. She went through a similar pattern when she switched from two naps to one, so I suspect that her napping days are coming to an end for real.

However, her father and I have noticed that she sleeps a lot more solidly through the night when she does have a nap, so in order to get her to bed at a reasonable time I've been waking her after a while. I would've tried this sooner, but she used to be a crying, whiny mess if I didn't let her nap as long as she wanted. She is far more receptive me waking her up lately though, so it is working out okay.

Something amazing happened this month concerning bedtime - two nights in a row, after I nursed her I told her to stay in her bed and go to sleep while I went in to the living room, and that I'd come to bed soon - and she did! Of course the third night this was a no-go as she was coming down with a cold, and then she was sick, and then I got sick... but it was still amazing. I always knew the day would come when I would be able to say "Goodnight," and leave the room and she'd fall asleep on her own, but I guess you can never really know how such an event will go down until it happens.

2007

2008-01-04T12:03:00.000-08:00

Here is last year's list of resolutions and the like - let's see what I accomplished!

Green means the goal was accomplished, Orange means it's one I partially did or am still working on, and Reds are the ones I fell flat on my face over, and/or I'm abandoning.

* Create a mixed vegetable-herb-flower garden that is beautiful as well as functional: Perhaps it wasn't as beautiful and functional a garden as I would've liked, but it was a pretty good garden! A garden is a very rewarding project.
* Be kinder and more patient: worked on it. Still working on it.
* Eat less sweets: not even close on this one. Oops.
* Learn more about nutrition and put what I learn into practice: Yes! I read and experimented lots and while I still have more to learn, I feel I have done pretty well in coming up with a healthy, ethical, and somewhat frugal diet for my family.
* Add lunches to the meal plan so that Pearl and I always have something yummy and healthy to eat in the middle of the day: Nope. Really should do this.
* Be more diligent about reading nonfiction: I read a few books.
* Keep the house cleaner: Hmmmm... maybe? I guess not noticeably so.
* Breathe deeply: Some. Need to remember this more.
* Learn to felt: No.
* Go through my bazillion digital photographs and get rid of the cruddy ones: Did a bit, need to do more.
* Learn to knit: No.
* Get more bookshelves: Yes! Mr. Peach bartered his computer skills for someone 's carpentry skills, and we now have one handmade by friends.
* Frame and hang more pictures: Yes.
* Install a cat door: No, and there's no need anymore.
* Make a quilt for our bed: No. Would still like to.
* Set up Pearl's room: I want to say yes, as the second bedroom in this place has been somewhat set up as her playroom... but even it isn't complete, so no.
* Start moving Pearl into her own bed: Yes! She sleeps in her own bed right next to ours, but I still sleep in it with her half the time at least...
* Make my own greeting cards - enlist Pearl's help on some! Nope. I still hope to this year.
* Do yoga: no.
* Learn to batik: No, though I did buy the supplies.
* Start composting: Yes! Didn't get to enjoy the boost it gave my garden in the next season because we moved, but it was awesome to not just throw stuff out.
* Write more: Not as much as I'd like. In fact, I'm pretty sure I wrote less.
* Learn more about my camera and photography: some.
* Go camping: Yes! We went a few times and it was great.
* Take Pearl to a nearby big aquarium: Yes! That was fun.
* Bake my own bread: I made some banana bread a couple of times...
* Attend the UU church, at least once: No, but I still think about it from time to time.
* Finish Pearl's baby book and have it printed & bound: It's so close to being done it's not funny. I need to buckle down and do it.
* Get braces: Yes! Boy, are they a pain, but they've already been worth it.
* Visit my brother-in-law and do some fun stuff in the city he lives in: This one's a bummer as he and his girlfriend broke up and he moved back home before we got around to it! However, we did go there for a concert...
* Plant morning glories along the fence: Yes, and they were lovely.
* Have friends and family over for dinner more often: Not as much as I intended, but some.
* Get out of the house by myself more, and not on errands, just for fun! I took and LOVED belly dancing lessons! Can't wait for the next round.
* Buy only clothes that are comfortable, fit well, and are of good quality... this includes underwear! I hardly bought any clothes at all but I did okay with this one.
* Be more appreciative of my talents: This one's a maybe. It's definitely one worth still working on.
* Research vaccinations and decide what to do about them: Still working on this one.
* Brush up on my espanol. No.
* Find a good family doctor. No.
* Paint. Draw. Not much:(
* Do some volunteer work. No.
* Don't go so long between haircuts that I feel like a total frump: I actually decided to grow long hair for the first time since I was a child. In doing so I have ditched traditional shampoos and conditioners in favor of shampoo bars, cider vinegar, honey, oils.... and I have learned that my hair is not straight, as it used to be, but wavy and sometimes curly! I love it. I do, however, need a trim.
* Get dinner at least partially prepared during the day so I can spend more time in the evening with my husband and daughter: Did okay with this one... need to renew my efforts.
* Remember that all I'm assured of ever getting is this moment. This is a perpetual goal, surely.

Thirty-One Months Old

2008-01-03T14:02:00.000-08:00

Pearl has been very physically active this month. She runs faster and steadier, and bravely jumps from one piece of furniture to another. Her jumping on the bed approaches acrobatics and all this combined with hard floors in the new house has led to several bumps and bruises.

She's also sustained several scratches from pushing our cats to their limit - but it is nice to see her with other people's kitties as she tries to be very gentle and nice with them.

She enjoys doing some household chores like putting the dishes away and sorting laundry. I can get her to help me pick up her toys if I entice her with a game of counting them as she puts them back in their place.

Pottying is great - I can only think of one time in the past few weeks that she's peed in her pants at home, I'm sure she's had wet diapers out and about but we've been taking the potty along with us to places and have had success getting her to go at other people's houses, so that is pretty neat! Still working on pooping...

Christmas with Pearl was a lot of fun this year as this is the first time she's gotten the whole presents thing. I didn't have a whole lot of seasonal spirit going on this year and didn't do much beyond hanging the stockings, buying a bouquet of local evergreens, and taking Pearl to see the lights on the town square - along with buying some nice presents for her and Mr. Peach, and sewing/embroidering a Christmas dress for Pearl and cooking glorious mountains of fudge and toffee for all our loved ones.

I told her all about presents as she went with us to buy and then wrap a gift for her cousin the day before Christmas Eve, and she found it very exciting and just couldn't wait so she got started with her cousin's present! We explained again that that one wasn't for her, but that she would get to open some presents very soon. She kept saying, "There will be presents for me, too!"

I made an effort not to go overboard with presents and thought I did quite well but between what everyone else got her, she was tired of opening presents on Christmas morning and refused to open the last two we'd gotten her, so she opened those at Grandma's later on. For a few days afterwards, she said, "Merry Christmas!" a lot and enjoyed playing with boxes as if opening presents.

One of the gifts we got her was a boxed set of classic Winnie the Pooh by A. A. Milne. It is one book broken up into little books by chapter. They are a bit much for her at this point but she sure loves taking them out of their box and putting them back in, quoting their titles, lining them up, etc.

Pearl still loves to read! She recites entire books, and every morning after we get out of bed (at the blissful time of around 8! I used to think she'd never sleep that late.) she sits in the big chair or on the couch with a quilt and a big stack of books while I wake up and start fixing our breakfast.

She is nursing less these days, and I say that with great relief. She's down to about three times a day, more if she's bored. Going to sleep and waking up still always include milkies and that's okay for now. She's eating a lot and must be growing like a weed - her arms and legs recently shot out of all her clothes and now we're buying (& soon making!) her some new 3t clothes.

She is generally easy going and cheerful, though there have definitely been some very two-and-a-half moments here and there. Even so I am so often amazed at how well she handles things, how quickly she learns, and in general how bright and beautiful she is.

I Hope Your Holidays Were This Merry!

2007-12-28T20:09:00.001-08:00

Pearl, chasing quite merrily after her cousin on Christmas Eve:

Two and a Half Years Old

2007-12-10T17:18:00.000-08:00

What a wild month! It started out with Halloween. I made her a Totoro costume that she wore to a special Halloween storytime our library held for preschoolers filled spooky stories and songs and ending with a parade through the library that kind of dissolved into her squeaking and chasing her cousin around.

On Halloween night she and I stayed home and carved a pumpkin. Pearl has kind of a thing for pumpkins and before we started drawing and slicing its face she kept hugging and saying, "Pearl loves this pumpkin!" She enjoyed scooping out the seeds and tasting the pumpkin, and especially taking off its lid and replacing it over and over again, and had fun seeing its glowing face. She helped me hand candy out to trick-or-treaters but sobbed when they left, wanting to run off with them.

She is singing again! She started for the first time many months ago, but hasn't been doing so for a while. Lately she has been like a little songbird in the house and in the car, and it is very sweet.

She likes to share. She will readily give her Daddy and I toys as well as playmates, and also will distribute toys between the kitties.

She has learned how to use the mouse! She knows how to get back to my desktop if the computer goes to sleep and logs us off, how to click through my flickr photostream, and how to restart her favorite Father Goose song in WinAmp. Her geeky parents could not be more proud.

It was so awful to see her sick with a stomach bug. The third day she was sick she slept and slept and I was so worried about her. I felt that it was a healing, recovering sort of napping but I couldn't help but be afraid that she wasn't getting better. It was so wonderful to see her chipper, happy, and wanting to eat the next day. I've been trying to gradually (read: lazily) work our way towards weaning but I am very glad I was able to provide her with such a comfort as she was ill, as well as liquid nourishment that was easy on her tummy.

Her last baby tooth broke through on the fourth of November and has been terrorizing the household since with all the grumpiness and sleeplessness it has been causing.

Between the new molar, the sickness, Thanksgiving, and the move, it has been a heck of a month and Pearl is just now bouncing back to herself.

Stomach Bug

2007-11-17T20:34:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I thought Pearl seemed a little off throughout the day and wondered if she might be getting sick. In the late afternoon after a little coughing and gagging, and a concerned question from me, she ran and hugged my legs and as I leaned down to return this toddler hug she started puking all over the both of us. I put my hand out to catch it -she was already throwing up, so I found this a strange instinctive movement to make- and was met with a warm cascade of apple chunks, black bean soup, and chickpeas.

(I think motherhood has warped my senses a wee bit, as I found myself noticing how tiny and cute her little bites of apple were.)

So, we had a Friday evening filled with trying to get the poor girl to puke somewhere that wasn't carpeted or upholstered, a location that involved my person five out of six times. A three shower day. A labyrinth of dirty clothes, clean clothes, washrags, and the laundry room. A midnight change of bedding.

She's sleeping again now, which is good. She doesn't seem to be throwing up as frequently if she's sleeping, so maybe that means she's able to digest some breastmilk then. So far she hasn't been able the keep anything she's eaten since noon yesterday down.

***

She hasn't thrown up in about six hours, so I'm hoping she's through the worst of it now!

Here We Go Again!

2007-11-17T07:15:00.000-08:00

One week from today, we're moving! We've been halfheartedly searching for a new place for a while, and when the weather turned colder (before the last time it changed its mind and got warmer again) we faced the reality of the impending heating costs and stepped up the search.

We found an okay apartment that we were about to settle for when we found a much better place instead - downstairs, we could bring all the appliances we bought when we moved to this house, and a yard - but a few days after we put down a deposit I noticed where some water damage had spawned some nasty black mold in the closets and big bedroom. I did not like to think of my family breathing that in as we slept, didn't like the idea of the trouble it would take to get rid of it, and the landlady was in denial about it, so! We got our deposit back, and despondently began looking again.

We were looking to move into an apartment to save on energy costs but I called about a house with rent lower than this one's anyway, because we weren't having much luck. I'm glad I did because this house is really cute. It is small, bright and sunshiny, and it has a nice open floor plan. The kitchen has a south-facing garden window, which just tickles me to death. I've always wanted one, and I'm looking forward to growing herbs inside this winter. It has a wee little loft, which is fun - I am sure Pearl will think it is the best thing ever to have stair in her own house! We can take our beloved fridge and washer and dryer, and it has a nice deck and fenced in backyard, so we'll have some outside space of our own. It's close to Mr. Peach's work, and closer than we were to the library and grocery stores and parks.

So I am quite excited and relieved to have found this place. The next week (and then some I'm sure) will be a flurry of packing and uprooting and resettling, with a lot of turkey, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie and family visits thrown in.

Hope everyone has a lovely Thanksgiving!

Twenty-Nine Months Old

2007-10-30T10:49:00.000-07:00

Miss Pearl is another month older! Another season has drawn to a close, and I have wistfully packed away another batch of outgrown clothes. When did she get so big?

She is so smart and funny and sweet. She is counting for real now - not always 100% correctly, but we can tell she's associating the numbers with the actual amount of things. She'll empty the contents of the coffee table drawer and say, "Four brushes, and one card!"

Her pronoun usage is improving in that she now usually replies with "I" when addressed as "you" rather than just responding to the pronoun in kind. It's amazing, how she just picks it all up. It's a complex thing to learn though and she's still working on it - one day she crawled into the space between my legs where I was standing and said, "Mama is a house!" As I was somewhat surprised at being proclaimed thus, I didn't play along but said, "No I'm not!" to which Pearl replied, matter-of-factly, "Yes, she is."

She says all manner of amusing thing... a favorite of mine this month has been hearing her say, "My face is grumpy!" after meals (having heard me tell her that her face is grubby many a time!).

And when sitting at a stoplight I pointed out a fire engine across the way, she regarded it a moment before solemnly declaring, "It's beautiful!" And it was, really, all bright and sparkling in the clear October sunshine. She loves seeing trains and bulldozers and airplanes and fire engines and especially buses.

One afternoon our little family of three was at the park and Pearl was walking between her daddy and I, holding our hands and was saying that she was holding mama's hand and daddy's hand and I told her that we were all holding hands together. Then she brought her hands together so that ours were together, too! It was a sweet moment.

It's been a rough month in that it's been just one affliction after another... new top molar, a cold, a relapse, more teething, high fevers... We're all pretty worn out and out of sorts.

Even with all that unpleasantness, pottying is still going extremely well! She's progressed to saying that she needs to go, she's even doing well at pulling her pants up and down, which for some reason seems to me like a very cute, grown-up sort of thing for her to be doing!

She is certainly getting big.

Projects Completed: Kimono & Corduroys

2007-10-25T13:02:00.000-07:00

I finished this outfit and photographed it a few weeks ago:

Though I am love Asian-inspired things and the floral fabric print (which is appropriately from Japan), I'm not crazy about this top. Maybe it's a tad too big for Pearl, or maybe the fabric is just too stiff... I just don't love it.

And the pants.... oh, those pants! I got them done, seams finished, hemmed perfectly... and I was trimming the seams down with my rotary cutter I got a bit cocky and careless and sliced right through the pants leg. I literally cried, as I didn't have enough corduroy left to make another, and, being somewhat poor, can't just rush out and buy more. So I had to undo the him, the inner leg seam, patch the slices and add side pockets to cover the damage, reseam, rehem, etc. They're done now though, so, hooray.

Twenty-Eight Months Old

2007-10-02T18:35:00.000-07:00

This is Pearl, twenty-eight months old:

Pearl is not at a stage where she enjoys really helping me bake, and vice versa. She loves standing on the step stool and scooping and dumping ingredients, stirring them together, and talking with me about what's going on. She even likes to help with the clean up!

For the past few weeks she has being using the potty at a rate as high as 100% some days! She doesn't usually ask to go, however - but when I set her on the potty she goes! It's all just working suddenly. I am enjoying the relative freedom from diapers and hoping it lasts.

With me taking belly dancing classes she has been getting more solo time with her Daddy and that has been fun for both of them. She has also picked up some of my moves after watching me practice and it is perhaps the cutest thing ever.

She is getting better about verbalizing her wants and needs, which is good. When she is hungry, she says, "What would you like best to eat?" (a spin on a line from a poem) and takes off for the fridge. It is nice not having to guess so much.

This month she started refusing to ride in shopping carts at stores - oh, the horror! All is well until I have her feet almost throw the holes and she bucks about and starts fussing. Thankfully, a quick talk about how she can only walk in the store if it's a quick trip or if Daddy is there to help, and so please sit in the cart, works. I did not expect it to... but she is more reasonable these days than I give her credit for I guess. These shifts away from babyhood throw me sometimes.

She is a very social creature lately. She loves when children we meet at the playground will play with her. It is sweet to see her become excited at mention of plans made with friends and families, and the affection she shows them when together.

Her appetite has exploded this months and I have been astonished at how much she can put away at one sitting!

We have been so busy these past few months that I haven't been getting these monthly updates done quite on time, but I am making sure that I do. I want to at least have record of what little I manage to remember by the end of the month... it's sad, how quickly memory fades.

Thoughts from the Past Week

2007-09-28T13:28:00.000-07:00

My sister is pregnant with her second child! Since she was pregnant with her first while I was pregnant with Pearl and we constantly compared notes and chatted about it all, it seems strange for her to be pregnant and me not. I am excited about being able to focus on the Aunt part this time around.

I had a marvelously fabulous time with friends and my husband at the Cloud Cult concert, which in itself was completely awesome. We got all tipsy at a fancy nightclub and got to chat with the band before and after dancing and singing along with our favorite songs. Pearl had fun with her Grandma and the rest, too. Everything went a little more smoothly this time around for them, though she missed us, and us her.

Mr. Peach & I's wedding =anniversary is coming up - we will have been married three, and together five. It seems weird, having been married for the greater part of our relationship.

Sitting alone in the dark on this night as the Autumn Equinox approaches, I am excited and looking forward to the changes coming: cozy clothes and a change in the seasonal menu, slow-baked food and warm soups... getting outside more and watching the leaves change colors.

I have started taking belly dancing classes and am really enjoying them. I am finding it very challenging, having never really done anything that requires coordination and athletic ability.

I'm looking forward to seeing a movie with my husband. Usually I'd much rather watch a movie at home but occasionally one will come out that I don't want to wait around for the dvd release of and so we hit the theaters. We love Wes Anderson movies.

Happiness

2007-09-21T20:19:00.000-07:00

First of the Autumn Sewing

2007-09-16T07:45:00.000-07:00

I started on sewing some clothes for early Autumn a few weeks ago, looking forward to the change of seasons.

And now cooler weather has arrived: clear bright days mixed in with cool rainy ones, and nights that are already chilly.

First I made Pearl this tiered skirt out of a dark red floral fine wale corduroy that I found on clearance at Hobby Lobby for $2 a yard - can't beat that!

Then I made her an autumn-hued patchwork twirly skirt - same way I made this dress a few months ago. It's made from bold & bright cotton prints with a few patches of soft brown corduroy from an old skirt of mine thrown in.

I used the same fabrics on the owl applique I put on an organic cotton tee (I used the corduroy on his wings and head, and he has two big wooden button eyes). It was my first time to do applique and I am quite proud of how it turned out. And Pearl loves it!

And I am proud to announce that I made something wearable for myself! It is a tiered skirt made from brown, fine wale corduroy. I followed a tutorial I found online and have since lost that conveniently fit my own measurements, plus a few little embellishments like the extra ruffle at the bottom.

You can't tell from these photos, or in some lights, but I totally goofed up and put a few pieces of the skirt together with the nap going in the opposite directions... but by the time I realized this, the dress had already been topstitched and the seams finished, so I said, oh well!

More Autumn projects to show coming up, as I finish them!

First Night Apart: A Success.

2007-09-08T11:30:00.000-07:00

Pearl's first night away from me went well! She didn't go to bed until midnight (the same time Mr. Peach and I hit the sack in a bed and breakfast a few miles up the road) and my mom had to put on a 5am showing of My Neighbor Totoro to keep her happy and get her back to sleep, and when she woke again at 8:30 she called out for me but then started reading books and was fine.

We stayed at a cabin rather than going back home after dropping her off last night so that we would be closer to my parents' house if she wasn't handling it well and needed us, and so that was a nice little change for us. It was strange (but good) to not have to keep eyes and ears attuned to a toddler or the baby monitor, and boy was it nice not having to go through the bedtime/sleep shenanigans.

And though I cried a little when I packed her bag and I thought my heart would break when we left her playing happily with my mom, I did okay as long as I was occupied... though I must admit I got tearful sitting out on the back porch swing alone while Mr. Peach showered and I realized I was rocking out there by myself when usually at that time of night, I would be rocking Pearl to sleep...

And goodness, were my breasts overly full of milk in the morning! Ouch. I nursed her as soon as we were reunited after being served a nice breakfast.

Now, she is taking a good nap recovering from her rather sleepless but thankfully not traumatic night, and I am relieved that it went well and extremely happy and excited to be finalizing the plans for our concert trip.

One Day/One Week

2007-09-06T06:32:00.000-07:00

The sky is temperamental today; doesn't know whether to be gloomy and overcast or giddy with sunshine. It happens to be quite an appropriate representation of how I am feeling today.

Tomorrow, Pearl will be spending her first night away from us. She is going to stay the night at my mom's as a test run before we go see a Cloud Cult concert three hours away next Thursday.

I know my mom (and my dad and my siblings) will take good care of Pearl, and do everything in their power to keep Pearl happy. But, oh, am I nervous. I think she'll be fine during the awake hours; it's night time I'm worried about. She still sleeps with us and some nights she wakes a lot, and usually wants to nurse. So I can't help thinking, what if she needs me, and I'm not there?

I've talked about it with her a lot throughout the week and she is excited to be going to sleep with Grandma and her Aunt, but less responsive about other parts of it... it's hard for me to know how much she understands.

I think it will be okay. I think it will be fun for her. I didn't think I'd want to leave her overnight so soon, but then this opportunity came up... and so hopefully this will go well, because I am really looking forward to this concert.

Twenty-Seven Months Old

2007-08-28T12:17:00.000-07:00

Pearl is twenty-seven months old now and cute as can be! We've been having lots of fun lately.

She is playing with her toys in new ways, putting various dolls and animals through many of the things she herself does each day, and describes it all as she makes it happen: "Baby is sleeping!" "Pig is drinking; the pig is so thirsty!" and so on.

Pearl enjoys watching nature videos and has picked up a few quotes that she likes. It amuses me greatly to hear her announce as she descends from wherever she is perched, "It's safe to come down and gather food."

She had her first bad stomach bug during the first half of this month... a fever and runny nose, accompanied by diarrhea. We almost took her to see a doctor after a week of it, but the research I'd done and my instincts told me it wasn't anything to be worried about and I'm glad we didn't, because it cleared up in a few more days. Still, it was less than fun for all involved.

After a nice stretch of easy bedtimes and restful naps, getting her to sleep is taking a lot of time and effort again... Always, the ups and downs. She has upper molars coming in now, which has something to do with it I'm sure.

She still feels the urge to lash out when she is angry or upset (so different from her mama, who tends to hold her hurts close - Pearl's way is healthier, no doubt.) but has learned to refrain from hitting for the most part; she instead swings her arms at her sides and mutters, "No hitting," or sometimes, "So angry." There's been some headbutting and biting too, but we're dealing with it and trying to help her find alternate ways of expressing her negative emotions.

She likes to "do faces": I'll say, "Show me your x face," and she'll make the appropriate face . Interestingly, her responses to being asked to show happy expressions tend to include bouncing up and down, and interpretations of negative emotions include leaning back and sticking her big belly out.

This month I went out by myself after putting Pearl to sleep for the night. I went to a party and had a wonderful time, but had to come back to a very upset baby and a very unsettled Daddy. I hadn't really prepared her in any way because I didn't think she'd wake before I returned - so of course she did, and was extremely unhappy that I wasn't there. She went right back to sleep as I nursed her and didn't show any signs of having suffered from it the next day or afterwards, so hopefully it wasn't too traumatic.

It was so nice to get out and have some grown-up fun by myself; it makes being at home with the most beautiful and amazing thing at the world even more wonderful.

Stagnant

2007-08-13T10:42:00.000-07:00

Stagnant is the word that best sums up how it feels to be me these days. Nothing new flows in, nothing flows out, and all is murky and sluggish.

The house is quite a mess, clutter piling up wherever it can, and dust accumulates along with it. I both see the disorder and don't see it: it uses its chaos as camouflage. Making myself actually look at it and see what is there - let alone do something about it - takes some form of energy or discipline I can't seem to muster up lately.

I want to write more but it is hard to find uninterrupted time, time alone. Naptime and its accompanying quiet invite me to do so many other things, both frivolous and the important. It feels good just to have typed out what I have so far.

We are thinking of moving again. Not out of town, just to a different house. We had planned to stay here until we are ready to buy/build a home but, having lived here for over a year now we've learned that there are reasons than isn't practical or desirable (large populations of brown recluses, anyone? For the past few weeks I have been coming across & killing one almost daily... the other day while I was sewing I looked down and there was one crawling on my pants. Have had enough of that. Am desperately hoping we do not bring them with us when/if we move.)

So, this feels like a time of stillness. A time of waiting... waiting for the oppressive August heat to break, for the gentle warm days of September in the Ozarks. Watching the classified ads, waiting for a suitable home to open up. Waiting for a belly dancing class and possibly a yoga class to start - I am hoping that getting out of the house and doing these things will be the something new flowing in that will shake me out of this stagnant state.

Heavenly Blue

2007-07-25T14:10:00.000-07:00

Back in the springtime, I planted many morning glory and moonflower seeds along the chain link fences on each side of our yard in the hope that they would flourish and block out the view of the neighbor's junk with something prettier, and provide a little more privacy.

What the blackberry frost didn't kill, the well-meaning elderly lady next door finished off with a liberal spraying of RoundUp intended for poison ivy. Still, a few of each species survived and we've been enjoying them for the past week or two. Pearl likes to walk out there with me to touch and gaze at and sniff them... today I sent her over there to look at them on her own as I hung laundry to dry on far side of the yard only to have her erupt into tears, running back to me saying, "There's a BUG in the flower!" And indeed, there was a bee, and alas, she only tolerates bugs when she is in the best of moods.

Cottage Roses Twirly Patchwork Dress

2007-07-13T10:30:00.001-07:00

I completed a project this week - a dress for Pearl (because I really just haven't sewn her enough dresses for her this Spring & Summer... I can't help myself, I enjoy it so much!) inspired by and made using this tutorial.

I fell in love with a line of fabric Hancock Fabrics carried over the summer called "Cottage Roses", assorted florals and coordinating material in cream and pink and blue and green. I bought some of the pink and blue to make Pearl a birthday dress with because she has always been a rosy little thing who looks good in those colors. I picked up some more pinks and greens to make her this patchwork dress and added in what was left of the birthday dress prints.

I managed to sew this dress without having to rip endless seams and make tons of revisions like I did the birthday dress. It was the first dress I attempted to make up without a pattern or tutorial, just drawing from my limited experience and patterns I already had I made a lot of mistakes along the way - it took me four tries to work out a bodice that fit - and the end product, while pretty, doesn't hang very well. The bodice actually does. It's the skirt I take issue with.

Anyway, I got the bodice on the patchwork skirt right the first time with no problems and only had to go back and redo one thing - I originally had a shorter row of patchwork right beneath the bodice but it wasn't gathered and the rest of the tiers are and it really bothered me so I took it out. Also, it is really hard to tie knots on the the shoulders of a two-year-old, but it won't come off or go on while tied!

Reunion

2007-07-09T06:03:00.000-07:00

After an embarrassing amount of agonizing over whether or not I wanted to go to my five year high school reunion, I decided to go at the last minute. And it wasn't horrible at all! Not many people showed up - only about fifteen out of fifty or so. It was fun to see how those people had changed, though, and to see my change reflected in their reactions to me. Pearl had fun playing with the other young children there, and it was neat to see her playing with the children of those who were children with me.

I only had one conversation about the college education I didn't complete (I was kind of cringingly prepared for that, having been known as The Extremely Smart Girl, voted Most Likely to Succeed, graduating as Salutatorian, full scholarship, etc etc.)

And I was only asked once about my ex-husband, who was my boyfriend all throughout high school, and I told the pertinent details without even being tempted to slander him, or even tell the whole truth which would've been damning enough.

The reunion took place in the high school cafeteria, the walls of which are covered in portraits of each graduating class. I got to see my face and those of my friends hanging among all those I'd looked at over the years growing up. Passing through the door, a face caught my eye and stopped me in my tracks - his, my ex's, back when he was young and our relationship was still mostly good, before it got mired in untruth and unkindness, before violence and manipulation. Before the pregnancy, the subsequent abortion.

I threw out all of the pictures I had of him when I left him, save a few favorites I saved just in case I wanted them later - and a few months later I decided I definitely did not. I know my mother has some of us somewhere, and I have seen more recent pictures of him, but this was the first time in a long while that I'd seen his face the way it looked when we were young and happy. It made me miss that long-gone version of him.

I am quite proud of myself for going. I've been feeling very reclusive lately... I think I must have a bit of social anxiety or some chemical imbalance going on still or something. But I went, and I looked nice and I interacted with everyone well and hardly felt nervous at all! That's probably a lot more than I would've been able to say about such a gathering five years ago.

Camping = Superfun

2007-07-02T12:16:00.000-07:00

I am happy to say that our camping trip was enormously successful! We all had a great time. The campground was lovely and we got a great site - one of three in a little clearing in the trees right next to a deep swimming hole on the river, below tall bluffs. We managed to have that little area to ourselves for the duration of our stay except for some people wandering through to the swimming hole... which unfortunately included a group of about eight young boys who came through after dark the first night and again at just past 6am the next morning. Six. In the morning. Which is indeed outside of the posted quiet hours but that wasn't much consolation when they woke us up.

Pearl, of course, was entranced by all the trees and dirt and rocks and water around us, along with her first flashlight! She was content for the most part to sit in a chair and read or munch on some crackers while we worked at setting up and preparing food, and she understood about the fire being hot and stayed back. Bedtime the first night was rough as we were very busy and it got late far quicker than we realized and so she was not a happy camper... literally. But she slept fairly well and I made sure I got her to sleep at a more reasonable hour the next night.

It was beautiful in our little clearing after the sun went down. There were a few clouds but not enough to completely obscure the stars or the moon, which was huge and bright. The moon didn't climb high enough to shine directly down in the clearing before we went to bed, but it shone through the trees and reflected off the bluffs above the river and made them glow.

The next day we hiked for a little while... not quite as far as I would've liked but we were all pretty tired so that was okay. We got to cross the river a few times and we stopped across from some bluffs and snacked while Pearl played on the rocks and frogs' calls echoed across the river.

We got some swimming in, too. The water there is so clear and clean. Pearl has really enjoyed being in the water this summer: splashing, and floating forwards and backwards while I hold her chest, putting her face in the water and on this trip throwing stones in and hearing their plonk-and-splash for the first time.

I had a lot of fun planning and preparing our camping fare: Sesame Lime Tofu with Mushrooms and Zucchini (the latter from my garden!) for dinner the first night, then Cranberry Pecan Chocolate Chip Oat Muffins and then bacon for breakfast the next morning. For lunch we drove about thirty miles to a wonderful bakery called Neighbor's Mill that we've been to once before and we had turkey avocado sandwiches. We also picked up some absolutely divine sticky buns - sweet cinnamon rolls covered and a sweet buttery pecan sauce, and a loaf of honey-wheat bread to use as hot dog buns for supper that night as I didn't get any beforehand. We also stopped and got some charcoal and a chimney to start it with to make creating a cooking fire easier and more of sure thing.

The charcoal and the chimney did the trick and Mr. Peach started up a fire that lasted even through the rain that started as I was laying Pearl down to sleep that night. It rained for a bit then let up, allowing us some dry time by the campfire so that we could giggle and talk and roast bananas in foil, split down the middle and filled with chocolate chips.

However the rain started again strongly in the night and was still coming down hard the next morning. Thankfully everything was pretty much either in the car or in the tent, so I stayed inside with Pearl and got everything ready to go and Mr. Peach ran it all up to the car with a little protection from an umbrella. We dried off and dressed in clean clothes at the bathrooms (which had flush toilets and sinks and mirrors - what a luxury when camping! Often it's just a vault toilet. I'm still weighing whether I think those conveniences are worth the larger crowds they draw - when I camp I want to enjoy nature, not hang out twenty feet away from strangers, grumpy old hermit that I am.) then ate our sticky buns in the car and headed home!

I can't wait to go again!

Here is a slideshow containing all the photos from the trip.

Twenty-Five Months Old

2007-06-28T11:40:00.000-07:00

Pearl is twenty-five months old now and I am happy to say that this month has been a lot easier than the last. She even gave up on shrieking to convey her displeasure at things... for a few weeks. She has resumed that practice over the past few days, unfortunately.

She has also been somewhat violent in her anger lately, wanting to hit me or sometimes she'll slap at her face. I wasn't really prepared for that, I just tell her not to hit Mama and tell her to whack the couch or the pillow instead. She complies and it seems to work well as a way to vent her irritation.

She is really beginning to assert her independence lately, too - I am hearing more and more "I awwna do it!" So, yes, she is very much a toddler.

She has been a lot more active physically in general lately, and I am glad as she has sometimes been 'behind' in this respect... at least compared to her same-age cousin. I shouldn't compare them but it's really hard not to. Anyway, she can now jump! And she loves to run - a few nights ago we took her to the park for a walk as it was nearing bedtime and I sensed she still had energy to burn. Instead of walking a third of the loop then asking to "Carry you", she ran a good 3/4 of the whole trail! Mr. Peach and I were so amazed. She repeated the performance again last night, saying, "So fast!" as she went.

She and I took a trip to an artsy place nearby this month where glass bluebirds are made and the grounds are decorated with all sorts of sculptures of fantastical creatures and other fun things. She enjoyed it even more than the first time we took her there - one year ago, coincidentally enough. Along with the statues there are all sorts of fountains there and playing in water is one of her favorite things to do right now!

The statues there must have made a big impression on her. A few days later her father brought some cinnamon rolls home for breakfast and as we were eating them I told her what they were called. She nodded and said, "Cinnamon trolls!"

And then a few days ago we were in the bedroom and she told me that she heard a loud noise. I said, "I think that was a big truck driving by." Pearl paused for a moment, then she replied, "Maybe it was a dragon!"

I love hearing what she has to say, witnessing these early verbal expressions of what is going on in her mind.

In the car, I look in the mirror at her watching the world roll by and I think, "There is nothing like her on this Earth." I love her so much!

Now or Never

2007-06-26T15:15:00.000-07:00

If I don't post now I may never gather up the will to do so again. So, here I am.

Mr. Peach has been very busy with a big job at work and a couple of hard classes at school, so we haven't seen much of him lately. Feels pretty lonely around here a lot of the time. But the first summer semester is drawing to a close and he's applied for a new job (at the same place) so I don't expect it to be so bad for much longer. In fact I'm pretty sure he's going to get the job... it seems like it is time for some change to come, and perhaps this is it.

A recent visit with a couple of friends from high school really made me feel that not only would I not wish to make friends with these people today, but I do not wish to expose my daughter to attitudes they express. Even so, we were children together and I feel fondly towards them. One of them is currently organizing a little reunion for our class and is insisting that I should come. I don't really want to (but in a way I sort of do) so that's been on my mind a lot lately as well.

And amongst several sewing/household/garden projects I have going on, this week I have been preparing for a camping trip! The brave Elaine has assured me that camping with a toddler or two can be done (and fun!) and I guess we're about to find out! This will be our first time since before I was pregnant. We've been busy making sure our gear is in good shape, shopping for new stuff, making lists, researching campgrounds, coming up with menus, etc etc. We are going to the Buffalo National River, one of the loveliest areas in the country surely, and one that I am very fond of. I've gone camping and swimming and hiking their since I was eight and I have wonderful memories of the clear water (once I saw a twenty dollar bill at the bottom of the river, and treated my family to Pizza Hut on the way home)
and fireflies filling the dark valleys with shifting patterns of green light. I am very excited to be taking Pearl camping there.

7:30 AM

2007-06-12T05:33:00.001-07:00

So far, today, I have:

woken up too early after a night filled with too much nursing and too little sleep
inspired Pearl to have a tantrum before ever getting up for the day
had my tender mouth bashed by Pearl's head three times
turned on the wrong burner while cooking some oatmeal that didn't taste very good, which led to me badly burn the fingers on my left hand and melt the side of Pearl's high chair tray

Now that I've gotten all that unpleasantness out of the way, surely today will be a good day!

I'm Thinking We Should Shop at the Farmer's Market More Often

2007-06-10T18:23:00.000-07:00

In bed this morning, I heard Pearl say as she played with her toes:

"This little piggy went to Target,
this little piggy stayed home.
This little piggy had roast beef,
and this little piggy had none.
And this little piggie went weee wee wee all the way home!"

Two Years Old

2007-05-31T15:00:00.000-07:00

And just like that, my little baby is two years old.

It doesn't seem possible, thinking back on the tiny, soft little creature of rosy skin and dark silky hair and otherworldly eyes, that Pearl and that newborn could be the same person. She has grown and changed so much in the span of two too-short years.

I've been thinking a lot lately of all that she has learned just since her last birthday. All the words that have made the journey from ear to mind to lips, the sentences she has learned to construct, the connections she has made. Letters and phonics and numbers and shapes. Singing, and altering lyrics expressively. Using a spoon. Putting on her shoes. Discovering the delight that is chocolate, and the scent of roses. A smile now full of teeth, and hair that hangs past her shoulders, curling at the ends. Walking well, then climbing and running and somersaults, and all the funny little walks she has done along the way - sideways, backwards on her heels, her tiptoes, bowlegged, a monster walk... Learning to tell daffodil from daisy and dandelion. Coming to love all those grandparents and aunts and uncles.

Innumerable instances of change. Endless evidence of growth. A thousand memories precious like jewels. I wish they would stay as bright and clear forever as they are now - already, too much of her babyhood seems so far away.

However, some parts of babyhood are still very present in this twenty-fourth month. She still nurses a lot, day and night. Despite a recent long run of success with using the potty, and the purchasing of underwear (which, I must note, she got irritated at me about when she very first wore them because I chose to put the flower pair on her rather than the ones with the heart on them) we've taken a few step backwards and she's still in diapers... when she's not in underwear or just plain naked. That's how it goes, I guess.

Pearl got her own bed for the first time since the last time she slept in the seldom-used mini cosleeper this month, a little twin sized platform bed placed between the wall and our bed. My birthday was the day it arrived and Pearl was quite excited about her own bed! We set it up that day and that was the first night she slept in it, and she seemed oh so far away from me. Some nights she's done fine sleeping over there, but some nights not. With all the different variables that can effect her behavior both asleep and awake, it's really hard to tell how big an impact sleeping more than six inches away from me is having on her. I've pulled her into our bed when she wakes sometimes, and I've tried sleeping with her in her bed too. The sleeping arrangement varies a lot and I'm not sure anyone's quality of rest has improved but the extra room is certainly nice.

Napping has been a trial this month. She stopped falling asleep easily by laying down in bed to nurse a few months ago, and resisted rocking and singing as well. Pearl very much still needs a nap during the day, otherwise she will fall asleep at dinnertime, and I definitely need her to take a nap! So I resorted to driving her around, which isn't something I want to do with gas at $3.25 a gallon or higher, but it works like a charm. A fifteen minute round trips makes her conk right out and she rarely stirs while being transferred from car seat to bed. I've got a few perfect routes picked out. Now that I am getting her to nap this way, though, I'm worried she's utterly dependent on it and I'll be driving her around until she stops napping someday...

Another new thing this month: Pearl has become what I call a screecher creature, meaning that whenever she is tired or angry or frustrated or bored she tends to shriek like a banshee, sometimes just yelling but sometimes with tears as well. It's pretty hard on the ears.

She says lots of cute things all the time and I wish I could recall more of them. A few I have jotted down to remember are how she pronounces bicycle - "cybikle" and how one day when she had the hiccups, after each one she would say, "I find the hiccups!" That was too cute. She also tends to use the things we say to and ask her to express herself - "Are you okay?" she says when she falls down, and "What's buggin' you?" when she's uncomfortable or annoyed. "What's the matter?" when she's crying, et cetera.

She had a lot of fun at the birthday party we held here for her and her same-aged cousin. I was kind of volunteered to play hostess this year, which was okay with me but still not what I would have preferred. It was a huge amount of stress and I'm still recovering from it. But Pearl enjoyed herself immensely, playing with the other tots and spending the evening with so many people who love her. She liked opening the presents and she got some good ones, and she liked us singing the birthday song and doing the cupcakes-and-candles thing.

On her birthday itself we kept it pretty quiet - went to the park and played, gave her the big present we got her (an adjustable easel), and had one of her favorite suppers (breakfast for dinner - she loves grits). And then we did cupcakes and candles and singing happy birthday again, and she had (somewhat unwillingly, I might add) her first taste of ice cream. I found some goat's milk ice cream* at my local natural foods store and thought it would be nice to splurge on it for my dairy-sensitive sweetie pie's birthday. Once I got it in her mouth, she enjoyed it a lot.

And so, Pearl is now two years old!

*For those who are curious, it did possess the creaminess that soy and rice ice creams lack, but it also had that goat flavor - tasted like sweet, chocolately goat cheese. Not entirely unpleasant, but a bit disconcerting.

Happy Birthday, Pearl!

2007-05-28T14:51:00.000-07:00

Two years ago my little fairy baby was born. More later, for now just this:

This & That

2007-05-22T13:14:00.001-07:00

I always have lots of things I want to write about, and no time to write as much as I want to so I end up writing nothing at all. It's either write here or do Other Things, and Other Things always tend to win.

But Pearl is taking a long nap and I've gotten quite a bit done this afternoon, and the wind feels good coming in through the window, bearing the sounds of rustling leaves and the sonorous wind chimes my parents got me for Christmas... so I'm letting myself sit here and do a bit of catching up.

I got braces on my teeth the day after my birthday! I was excited and wanted to write about that but then I was in so much excruciating pain, along with being constantly ravenous since I couldn't eat much, that I didn't even want to think about them. I underestimated how painful they would be and didn't really stock up soft foods or anything because I didn't think it would be such a big deal! But, ouch. It was. They pretty much don't bother me at all now, though I still haven't quite gotten the hang of chewing well yet. But my teeth are already moving and grooving... I will probably have them for over two years but it will be nice to have teeth that aren't all crazy looking and hard to chew with and clean.

Pearl turns two years old next week. I'm struggling with accepting that... accepting the fact that that much time has passed since she was just a wee tiny helpless thing fresh from my womb. She certainly acts like she's two, though. I don't know if I'd go so far as to say it's been "terrible" but it's been close! Just typical stuff I suppose, lots of defiance and fear and ignoring and refusing to nap and waking up at crazy hours in the morning... it all adds up and wears me down and I lose patience more than I'd like to and get grouchy with her or my husband and pretty much feel exhausted all the time. She is still of course quite often cute and funny and sweet, so there's that.

We're having a birthday party here for her and her same-aged cousin this weekend and I've been working on plans for that, trying to get the house into some semblance of neat and clean before it is swarmed by all sorts of family members and friends. I'm working on a birthday dress for Pearl with some lovely pink and blue fabrics that is being very contrary and eating up a lot of my time, but I enjoy having a project to work on, enjoy the whole process of finding fabric that inspires a design, working out the details and then the cutting out and putting together, then the copious amount of stitch-ripping and re-positioning... it's fun. Since my sewing machine got a permanent home in the spare room I've been a sewing fiend! I love it.

The baby monitor is telling me that nap time has come to an end so that's it for now!

Happy Birthday to Me!

2007-05-14T13:18:00.000-07:00

My birthday was last week! I am now twenty-three years old. My husband and daughter and I celebrated the day grandly. I did lots of things I love with the ones I love, so it was a very good day. I started out by making waffles with coconut flakes and coconut milk, and a sauce of strawberries, kiwi, and banana. That is a breakfast I've been wanting to create for a long while and though it didn't turn out quite as deliciously as I imagined, it was still pretty good and fun to make.

For lunch I made a Moroccan Chickpea Salad, wrapped it in tortillas (the pitas were moldy, oops) and packed them up and we three went on a hike near a local lake I'd finally found after hearing it mentioned here and there for a while. It has rained a lot here lately and everything has finally greened up after the blackberry frost we had. The creeks and streams were quite full and difficult to cross (the trails themselves were literally streams in some places and soggy everywhere else), but we managed all of them up until the last one, which would've required getting my shoes wet. I declined that and we went back along a different trail than we'd taken in and we saw lots of turtles, ducks, and a Great Blue Heron along the lake's shore.

Pearl decided to conk out just as we wrapped up our hike:

Later in the afternoon I baked a Flourless Chocolate Cake and we made a trip to a meat market... where I bought some shrimp. On the way home Pearl conked out again so while she slept I cooked dinner, Brown Rice with Peas and Caramelized Garlic ringed by Pesto Shrimp:

The pesto sauce was a gift from my husband... it's some fancy schmancy imported stuff I used to buy a jar of weekly to slather on toast, but my natural foods store stopped carrying it so I've been doing without, rather than pay an arm and a leg to have it shipped to me. I tried making my own and I tried many other brands... but none are so delicious. At any rate, this was my first time cooking shrimp. It was fun to see it pink and curl up... I first sauteed it with the butter and oil I'd cooked the garlic in, then tossed it with a few spoonfuls of pesto. It turned out so, so good. My husband says it's the best thing he's ever eaten and it was really quite delicious.

After an evening stroll in the park I made a raspberry sauce to go over the cake, which was also really really good... so good that when we'd eaten that one all up I made another one!

It was a perfect way to end the day!

I've Gone Shirr Crazy!

2007-05-03T16:19:00.000-07:00

Hehe.

Using this tutorial as a starting point, I made Pearl this shirred dress out of some fabric I've had for at least five years. I am very much a pack rat. I have not been steadily sewing for five years or anything, just hanging on to some fabric I bought. Good thing I did, because it turned out to be a pretty cute dress. Pardon the wrinkles, I was doing good to get her dressed and into the yard and the camera and all that, no way was I gonna stop to iron:

That dress was so fun to make that I went straight on to another shirring project, a top made from a fat quarter I got as a door prize at a local quilt show recently. It was just barely big enough for the purpose!

Since this shirring business is so enjoyable to me, but I don't want Pearl's wardrobe to consist entirely of shirred clothing, next up is something for me. Either a dress or a top, haven't decided which yet.

Twenty-Three Months Old

2007-04-28T20:02:00.000-07:00

Oh, my dear little Pearl!

Toddlers are not a new phenomenon to me. I remember the toddlerhoods of my youngest brother and sister pretty well, and a few years ago when I worked at a preschool I had in my care a group of five little girls ranging from eighteen months old to two and a half years. After that darling, wild little bunch I thought caring for one little person at a time would be a piece of cake.

I guess it could go without saying that I was wrong. Daycare was tough but taking care of your own almost-two-year-old around the clock is a whole 'nother can of worms. This month Pearl has led me spinning in a crazy dance between exasperation (all the fussing and the whining) and hilarity (popping up right after nursing first thing in the morning and saying, "Whew! Spicy!"); frustration (meeting me with protests at every turn, fighting sleep and veering way off schedule) and joy (hearing my "I love you"s echoed with "I yuh you"s of her own); terror (disappearing at my in-laws' house during a family gathering, calling proudly, "I'm up the stairs!" as I found her) and sweetness (raising her voice to join mine for the first time as I sang "Bye Lo Baby" to her at bedtime). It has been hard for me to catch my breath and retain the inner reserve of calm that is important to have when parenting a toddler.

Her imagination has blossomed this month, and she likes to play that she is eating and drinking and share her feast with me. At her grandmother's house, she held a strand of Mardi Gras beads up to her eyes and said, "It's my glasses!"

Pearl has also been a bit fearful this month. With Spring's arrival the world has come to life and all sorts of new things are presenting themselves. She was thrilled to find yellow dandelions in the yard but once they went to seed she would shriek, "Fuzzy dandelions!" and cry a bit. She was willing to hold my hand and check one out but once her finger touched its fluff she started wailing. She is ok with their presence now and even likes me to blow their seeds into the air, but won't touch them herself. Bugs on a screen door at night also frightened her, and she kept an eye on them and her distance, repeating my assurances in a very worried tone: "It's okay, it's just a bug. It's kinda scary!!! It's outside..."

So life with Pearl this month has been good, but oh so exhausting. I think I can get through this phase if I can just remember that sometimes, she sleeps:

Guess It's Time to Watch Our Mouths!

2007-04-18T11:20:00.000-07:00

The other day, Mr. Peach was playing golf on the Wii and Pearl was watching him. "Damn it!" he growled, and was echoed moments later by Pearl's own utterance: "Dammit!"

He didn't even hear her so I pointed it out and fussed at him for cussing around her. This morning as I was rummaging around in my purse for my ever-elusive keys, I muttered, "Shit!" and was then startled to hear Pearl repeat it quite precisely.

We've been meaning to watch our language for months now but I guess it's time to really pay attention... I know a Grandma whose heart is going to break if she hears Pearl drop the f-bomb!

Potty Progress!

2007-04-13T12:53:00.000-07:00

I am happy to report that over the past few weeks we've had a sort of potty breakthrough! Pearl began saying "Soggy diaper!" before she peed rather than afterwards, and soon progressed to saying "Need sit on the potty." as well. She'll usually tell me when she needs to poop too. She has been sitting on the potty and going pee completely unprompted more and more - which is especially cool when she isn't wearing a diaper! I am considering getting some sort of training pants/diapers... maybe a velcro version that she can remove herself without having them around her ankles, which she hates. I don't know if that would be pushing it or jinxing it or anything - I'm so thrilled with the situation as it is I don't know that I want to change anything up!

Happy Easter!

2007-04-08T18:46:00.000-07:00

Pearl, enjoying her chocolate Easter bunny (a rare sugary treat!):

More photos to come.

I Could Cry: A Garden Journal Entry

2007-04-06T17:45:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I got one of my raised beds set up, mixed rich organic mushroom compost and vermiculite in with the soil my husband tilled, and planted seeds: carrots, two kinds of lettuce, kale, marjoram, dill, cilantro, chives, and turnips. On Thursday morning I saw the tiniest little turnip sprouts, and little buds forming on the chives (which were transplanted from the plastic pots they'd been in on the patio since purchasing them last year!).

Thursday night, the cold weather hit. We even got a little snow. I covered that raised bed and the strawberry patch with sheets but it wasn't enough. It'll take time to tell if the seeds & seedlings were affected but I already saw brown wilt on some of the strawberry blossoms. My strawberry patch was doing so very well, it just breaks my heart. The plants were huge and covered with buds and blossoms and green fruit. I am very much a beginner gardener so I don't know what this will mean for the rest of the season (I'm avoiding research for the moment because I want to believe we'll still get lots of berries throughout the summer) but I know it pretty much spells doom for the blossoms & fruit already formed.

Update: I woke up this morning (at five-thirty, and not by choice, I feel grumpily compelled to mention) to a world darkly glittering with frost, a thermometer that read nineteen degrees, and the realization that I'd forgotten cover the garden with sheets. Am feeling too stupid to be a gardener. Trying to tell myself that it'll only set the newly sowed portion back by a week... Not thinking about the strawberries. Maybe they're okay. Also, I'm going to have to plant more morning glory seeds along the fence... I checked on those sprouts yesterday and they are all quite shriveled and wilted.

Twenty-Two Months Old

2007-03-29T06:31:00.001-07:00

This twenty-second month finds Pearl well into toddlerhood. It is getting harder and harder to think of her as a baby.

This month I watched in something akin to awe as she put her shoe on for the very first time, on the correct foot, velcro in place and all. How did she learn to do that? When did all the necessary skills fall into place? I felt close to bursting with elation and pride as she continued on with the other shoe, saying "Leff foot, leff foot" as she tried to put it on, too.

She is learning so much, every day. Her mind is an amazing thing.

Pearl loves our kitties so very much. She spends a good part of the day patting them, whacking them, sitting on them... it is a sort of tough love I guess. She also gives them hugs and will often refuse to leave a room until they come along too, and she gets upset when they jump over the gates and leave her behind. When we let Left Eye outside (or when he lets himself out when we go!) she will trail him around the yard endlessly. Her affection for them is pretty sweet and almost makes up for all the trouble they cause!

With Spring's arrival we have been spending a great deal of time out in the yard and outside in general, experiencing all that the new season has to offer and teaching her about it - going beyond the generic 'flower' and saying daffodil, dandelion, tulip... leaning down to sniff them and saying, "Smells good!" Digging in the dirt and planting seeds and using our watering cans.

All the fresh air and excercise she's been getting have greatly increased her appetite. She still nurses quite a bit but the balance between milkies and solid food has definitely changed this month.

Pearl has had an awful case of the fake sneezes this month. At random they will seize her and then it's "AhhhCHOO! AhhhCHOO!" over and over in the car, in the shopping cart, while eating dinner. All we can do for the poor dear is say, "Oh my goodness! What big sneezes!"

We are seeing more "terrible two's" behavior... a defiant streak showing up, lots of frustration, a meltdown upon leaving the park... but for the most part Pearl is still a pretty mellow, easy-going child. Getting her to sleep the past few weeks has been difficult, but I blame teething as usual. She sprouted her second canine this month, and her bottom two are on the way.

Even now, over two and a half years since I realized that I was going to have a baby, I have trouble believing my life with her is real sometimes. Moments will catch me and it will just seem impossible - like it's too good to believe, I guess. It is certainly very good.

The Little Laundress

2007-03-24T20:34:00.000-07:00

It is so fun to have such a sweet little helper!

Things I'm Excited About Right Now

2007-03-19T21:18:00.000-07:00

The garden plans that are underway: seed packets in the kitchen, a space cleared in the yard, wood in the carport waiting to be built into frames, my new compost pile doing its thing!
An appointment for a consultation with an orthodontist in a few weeks
Setting up Pearl's room - just mentally so far. Gathering up ideas, shopping around.
An upcoming day trip to a big aquarium.
The fact the Spring is very much here:

Just Another Spaghetti Face!

2007-03-12T13:25:00.000-07:00

I have been neglecting my camera in favor of the sewing machine and garden plans lately... so I made myself pick it up today. I always have fun taking spaghetti pictures.

Tiered Dress

2007-03-07T09:44:00.000-08:00

A few months ago, my husband consolidated our two desktop PCs into one, which freed up a desk in one of the bedrooms. I was happy because this meant my poor little sewing machine finally had a home and would no longer be forced to camp out on the dinner table whenever I was working on a project! I was able to complete a sewing cover and a few other small projects before my sewing machine up and died and I had to take it to a shop to be repaired.

Thankfully, it just had some thread caught up in a place I couldn't reach and so it didn't cost me an arm and a leg to get it back.

I dug out a pattern (Simplicity 5685)and some fabric that I bought sometime last year and got work on this dress:

Didn't get a very good picture of it, but there it is. I enjoyed making it; the pattern was easy to follow and very forgiving - important when you're a haphazard sort of seamstress like I am.

Chocoholic

2007-03-06T11:49:00.000-08:00

Some people like to get their day started with a cup of coffee. Other people like to have some freshly brewed tea. Me, I like to wake up with a nice mug of made-from-scratch, stirred-on-the-stove-top hot chocolate.

Sometimes I stir in a few drops of mint extract - very refreshing! Other times I put in a dash of cinnamon. Lately my favorite addition is a tiny sprinkling of ground cardamom seeds.

Twenty-One Months Old

2007-02-28T20:51:00.000-08:00

Each month when I write these little reviews I try to think of what has defined the month; a thing or two that really sets one month apart from the one before it. I didn't have to try very hard this month: this has been the Month of No.

Pearl has been saying no for a while now, but this month rather than the sweet, matter-of-fact little "no" she would utter before, this month she has been yelling the word, sometimes flailing arms and stomping feet and shaking her head to really emphasize that she means NO! and often repeating it, a string of no's one after the other after the other.

It is sometimes amusing, sometimes frustrating, especially when she is refusing something necessary (getting dressed, putting a diaper on, etc, etc).

Her language acquisition continues on in other ways as well. She is using names more... rather than just using them as identifiers, she will say, "Mama, sing a song!" or, "Nest Eye fell down!" or, "Mama! Nee hep!" (need help!) One phrase I hear a lot is "Stuck! Nee some hep!" She has started missing her father and I when we leave, and will say, "Go find Daddy!" She talks about things she remembers, too - kicking the snow, seeing a cat jump over the fence. It is neat to see her putting little sentences together, picking and choosing words to get her point across. She still jabbers a lot of stuff that I cannot understand at all though!

She makes up her own little songs and sings about the cats, about her little alligator toy. "The Wheels on the Bus" and "Bye-Lo Baby" are her new favorite songs this month. "The Wheels on the Bus" really cracks her up and it amuses me to no end to hear her say, "Move on back!" and watch her do her approximations of the hand motions. Once while we were singing it she sneezed and so I added the verse of "Pearl on the bus goes ah choo, ah choo, ah choo!" and she has since added it to her rendition and I will hear her singing it every now and then as she goes about her little toddler business. Sometimes when I am sitting at the computer listening to my music, she will come up and insist we listen to Dan Zanes! Or Caboose Song!

Pearl seems so bright; I love teaching her and seeing her learn. She knows some shapes - moon (crescent), star, circle, square... and most of the colors... blue and red still throw her a bit. She is mastering feeding herself with a spoon and is trying to put on her own shoes and socks. (She is quite adept at taking them off and the other day she took her shirt off by herself for the very first time!)

Sleep has been pretty rough lately. For the first half of this month it was hard to get her down for the night but she slept okay after that (once I got in bed to stay, anyway), and the next half she went to bed early and easily but also woke up at an ungodly hour. I blame teething. She got two new teeth this month, or so I thought. One has since disappeared so it either receded, or I am crazy and imagined a new tooth to give some meaning to the night-time chaos.

Pearl ended this challenging twenty-first month with a bang: while we were outside this morning, she ate some little green pellets that were in some soil leftover from repotting a houseplant. I managed to fish one out of her mouth and then got to call the Poison Control Hotline for the very first time. (May it be the last!) I was told that it was probably fertilizer and wasn't enough to be toxic, and just to watch her for a while for an upset stomach and mouth irritation, not to let her sleep on her back, etc. I figured she would be all right but I wasn't sure what those pellets were and safe is definitely better than sorry.

I know I said that Pearl's obsession with saying no is what stands out about this month, but that isn't what pops up in my mind when I think about who she is right now. The image of her in my mind right now is of the little girl who sees the moon and stars in the light reflected from the lamp onto the ceiling, who tells me that donkeys say "honkey", who waves back to vines and leaves blowing in the breeze; the girl who is the most beautiful thing in the whole wide world.

A Somewhat Grudging Elimination Communication Update

2007-02-21T12:10:00.000-08:00

A week or two ago (heck, maybe even a month by now...), Sarah asked how things were going in the elimination communication department, and I've hemmed and hawed and avoided answering because it isn't going very well at all, for several reasons.

For one, Pearl popped out two canines (bottom right then top left) in one week. Whenever she is teething, both her sleep patterns and willingness/ability to go in the potty up and go on vacation apparently. For a while it was going really well and she was telling me when she needed to poop, and going in the potty, and saying that she was going peepee as she peed... which was sometimes in the potty. Then she stopped saying anything at all! That was pretty frustrating. But now, a few days since those teeth first made their appearance, she has resumed telling me when she needs to poop, and she is now coming to me right after she's peed and pointing at her diaper and saying she is soggy.

Another challenge I'm facing is that she has fallen in love with saying 'no'. Now, sometimes she doesn't really mean no. I can ask her something and she'll say no but if I'll ask her again she she'll happily comply. In regards to pottying, that makes hard to tell, when I ask her if she needs to use the potty whether her answering 'no' means that she doesn't need to go potty or if she doesn't want to go potty. I do not feel that I should be ignoring what she says and just setting her on the potty anyway in this instance; however I do wish for her to understand that she should pee in the potty. So I usually respect her no, but if I think she really does need to I will go ahead and move toward getting her on the potty... backing off if she protests.

I will admit that I'm a little bummed that she isn't going on the potty more, on her own more. I fully believed that practicing elimination communication would lead to being out of diapers early; I thought we'd be saying goodbye to diapers at about this point. But we've been through several setbacks just like this before so I'm trying not to be too bummed. (In fact I have a suspicion that once she has all of her teeth in, that will be it, we'll be set. Can't wait to see if I'm right!)

There is another obstacle... pants! She will NOT tolerate pants around her ankles! It's kind of cute and amusing and frustrating all at once; she whines and tugs at them until I pull them off. I'm going to try to keep her in skirts and dresses over the summer and let her go nakeybutt a lot so that she can get on the potty on her own without messing with pants.

On the days when it isn't going so well I do feel discouraged and wonder why I bother... but on the whole I still feel it is worthwhile, and I think we will do it with our next baby, too. This most recent setback has reminded me that Elimination Communication is really a process, not a training method. It is in itself what we should be working towards, if that makes any sense at all.

A Girl, A Bike, and A Duck.

2007-02-17T17:00:00.000-08:00

Pearl wanted to ride her bike and carry her rubber duck at the same time but she kept crashing... She needed a basket! So I thought about what I had at hand and fastened an empty Earth Balance tub to her handlebars with a rubber band... took less than two minutes and she has been happily taking road trips around the house with her ducks since.

Also, that is the most colorful outfit she has ever worn. She is responsible for the vest - one of her grandmothers purchased it for her at a thrift store and she adores it! In fact, she is wearing it right now. It is embroidered with a scene of two girls on a farm.

This is Not a Valentine

2007-02-14T11:32:00.000-08:00

~* More letters this week at Mama Says Om *~

Two Potties Are Better Than One!

2007-02-08T17:27:00.000-08:00

Still half asleep, I brought the bedroom potty into the living room after dumping it out the other morning and Pearl thought that was the neatest thing ever. She had just peed but she sat on one potty, said, "Another potty! Pee pee! Pssssspssspssss..." then she demanded a book. Then she switched potties. Then again, and again, and again...

Q. How Do You Know When You've Been Stuck in the House With a Sick Toddler for Too Long?

2007-02-03T07:04:00.000-08:00

A. After your husband returns home late in the evening and as he is on the couch sitting next to the toddler, telling you about his day, you wander over to the laundry basket, pick up a clean flannel washrag, walk over to the couch, lean over, and quite thoroughly wipe his nose, until he squawks, "What are you doing?!"

Oops, wrong nose!

Snow!

2007-02-01T17:41:00.000-08:00

We actually got enough snow to play in this time around - just a few inches, but this is the best snow we've had in a long time. Pearl had so much fun tromping around in the snow for the first time, kicking it with her little shoes!

Song

2007-01-31T17:46:00.000-08:00

Here is Pearl, singing a semi-unprompted rendition of the aforementioned Elizabeth Mitchell, followed by my version:

~* Find more songs at Mama Says Om *~

Twenty Months Old

2007-01-28T19:22:00.000-08:00

Today, Pearl is twenty months old!

When she was a new walker and we first started taking her to the park to play on the playgrounds there, I would marvel at the older babies who could go up the stairs and down the slide all by themselves, while Pearl stumbled and wobbled along. Now, a handful of months later, she is the tot who scampers all over the jungle gym with skill and confidence. It is an amazing thing.

This month has been all about climbing! She has mastered the technique of climbing up on our large cushy couch an chair and she is completely obsessed with doing so. She doesn't understand why we let her climb onto the seat of the chairs but draw the line at clambering up on the arms to join the kitties, even after she fell off and hit her butt on the corner of her little wooden chair on the way down, ending up with a scratch and a bruise. She tests us on it over and over again.

She has also figured out how to get onto and off of the bed over and over again, as well as the dining room chairs and table!

Pearl has started singing this month! It is the sweetest sound in the entire world! She sings two songs from My Neighbor Totoro, as well as the elephant song from Elizabeth Mitchell's You Are My Little Bird album, and the belly button song. She doesn't know whole verses or anything, just sings the few words that she knows... it is very cute.

She had a well-baby doctor's visit this month where she was poked and prodded and mildly traumatized... she really freaks out when her mouth and ears are examined, poor girl. She is 32.5 inches tall, the 65% percentile for height and her head is in the same percentile. Her weight, however, is pretty low... 22 pounds, below the 25% percentile mark. The doctor wasn't terribly concerned but did want to see her in another six months to make sure she's gaining okay. Her nose, which has been stuffed up since Thanksgiving, finally cleared up this month.

Pearl doesn't often wake to nurse back to sleep midway through her naps often anymore. Instead she sleeps for about a two hour chunk at about noon, and nurses awake at the end! It is sweet to snuggle with her as she rouses herself from sleep... in the mornings I am usually too busy trying desperately to cling to sleep to see her wake.

Pearl has learned a few colors! She has yellow and orange down, the rest are about fifty-fifty. She has an art book with a painting of 'yellow' and after I noticed her pointing out that other things were yellow, I told her the names and showed her what the other colors looked like, too. She loves drawing with her crayons and painting, and we talk about what colors things are a lot.

She is getting to be more and more herself every day. She picked out her own outfit for the first time this month - bringing her owl shirt and yellow striped legwarmers to me as I was folding laundry and grunting at me until I took off what she was wearing and put on her attire of choice. I was thrilled! She lets us know what she does and doesn't want with increasing vehemence and clarity. It is so much fun to get to know her.

Mystery Solved!

2007-01-26T10:14:00.000-08:00

We figured out how Pearl came to associate mooing with milk. We DO have a book that references it. Mr. Peach was reading her a stack of books the other night and said, "Eureka!" (or something like that).

From page 51 of One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, by Dr. Seuss:

"Did you ever milk this kind of cow? Well we can do it, we know how!"

Case closed!

Back to Blue

2007-01-25T11:20:00.000-08:00

I revamped my template! I used a set of brushes made by Jason Gaylor. Let me know if anything is broken or anything.

I Guess We've Entered that Stage of Toddlerhood in Which the Toddler Says Hilarious Things

2007-01-23T11:47:00.000-08:00

So. For the past few months, Pearl has just loved the whole animal sounds thing. She loves her animal sounds books, looking at pictures and making the appropriate sounds, and sometimes when we're bored I'll ask her a whole slew of questions like,"What does x say?" or switch it around and ask, "What says x?" She'll do this in her sleep, too - one night right after she unlatched and rolled over she said, "Hoo hoo!" It's a owl!" and her mouth was still full of milk and her voice was all burbley, so funny and sweet.

Well, over the last few days, she has been saying, "MOOOO! It's milkies says!"

I have no idea how she came to THAT conclusion! We don't drink cow's milk or partake of any other dairy products, with the exception of my husband who does eat cow's cheese, and we don't watch t.v. or have any books that talk about this. She knows cows say moo, but my breasts? I can assure you that they have never mooed. I am terribly amused and faintly insulted. She'll pop off the breast to say it or just say it randomly. I interrogated my husband about this but he swears he has no idea how she made this association. So... what the hay?! What a silly tot.

Self Portrait Tuesday: New Year's Resolutions

2007-01-23T06:50:00.000-08:00

Write more. Draw more. Put my hand to paper and create something... these are a few of many of my resolutions on this year's list.

More Self Portraits can be found at Self Portrait Tuesday.

A Nursing Photo

2007-01-19T11:00:00.000-08:00

For the past few months Pearl has insisted on nursing right after we take a shower. I don't know if she likes the skin-to-skin contact which she only gets nursing at that time, or if she is just cold and hungry and wants a snack but if I try to get her to wait she has a meltdown and I have to talk her through at least putting my pants on because I for one do not like hanging around cold and wet in the bedroom.

A few days ago we took a shower in the afternoon and the light in the bedroom was nice so I brought my freshly-charged camera in to take some pictures. Then she made her demand for "m'kies" and I got some shots of her nursing by stretching and contorting myself, and bracing my camera against my shoulder, and then against the windowsill, taking full advantage of the autofocus and hoping I was pointing my camera in the right direction. I guess I could probably get some nice ones using my tripod and the timer or the remote but I liked how a few of them came out.

Happy

2007-01-16T19:46:00.000-08:00

Today I asked Pearl if she wanted to help me put clothes away and as that is her favorite chore to help out with she was excited and nodded, saying, "Cose away!" As she danced and ran towards the bedroom in front of me as I dragged the basket of clean laundry along, I laughed and asked, "Are you happy to be putting clothes away?" and for the first time, she said, "Happy!"

While we hung up the clean laundry and throughout the rest of the afternoon she'd chant, "Happy! Happy!" and this evening we looked at some pictures of her on flickr, talking about what she was happy about in each one.

She was pretty difficult to get to sleep tonight - she's working on a new tooth and that always throws her sleep schedule out of whack - and after she rolled away from my breast for what I thought was the last time (she has gotten into the frustrating habit of rolling back over halfway on top of me and waking if I try to leave the bed) she opened her eyes a tiny bit, gave me a sleepy smile, and said, "Happy!"

At that moment, how could I be anything but?

Yep, It's January.

2007-01-16T11:20:00.000-08:00

Winter's got me. I'm in full recluse mode, not making any effort worth mentioning to interact with my family or friends. My motivation to do anything has gone out the window and I don't have any projects started or being worked on, haven't made appointments I need to make, and the housework is falling behind. I just don't want to do anything. I haven't seen the sun shine in what feels like weeks and it's driving me bonkers, in a very low-key, unimpressive way.

(I want to say that it feels like this part of the world has fallen under the control of the Twilight Realm but I think that if I make one more comparison between real life and the video game I'm playing my husband might stop speaking to me!)

So, this is just me whining, except I don't even feel inspired to complain about the various things in my life that aren't going very well, so it's just a general mope. I guess I feel depressed but the way I feel now isn't even comparable to how I felt this time three years ago so I don't want to call it that. At least I don't feel like life is agonizing. At least my mind isn't choked with nameless dread. This is just the "winter blues"... feels more like it should be called the "winter greys" though.

I can't wait til Spring.

Come Out, Come Out, Where Ever You Are!

2007-01-09T10:27:00.000-08:00

It is apparently National Delurking Week and as such I would love it if any readers who don't comment here do so this week and say hello! Maybe tell me what brings you here to my little corner of the interweb, and leave a link so I can check out yours.

Uberlist

2007-01-07T14:21:00.000-08:00

I was pleased to see that the New Year's theme at Mama Says Om is Uberlist, something they did last year and I was looking forward to participating in this time around. Lofty and lowly, here are some plans, hopes, and resolutions for 2007, in no particular order:

Create a mixed vegetable-herb-flower garden that is beautiful as well as functional
Be kinder and more patient
Eat less sweets
Learn more about nutrition and put what I learn into practice
Add lunches to the meal plan so that Pearl and I always have something yummy and healthy to eat in the middle of the day
Be more diligent about reading nonfiction
Keep the house cleaner
Breathe deeply
Learn to felt
Go through my bazillion digital photographs and get rid of the cruddy ones
Learn to knit
Get more bookshelves
Frame and hang more pictures
Install a cat door
Make a quilt for our bed
Set up Pearl's room
Start moving Pearl into her own bed
Make my own greeting cards - enlist Pearl's help on some!
Do yoga
Learn to batik
Start composting
Write more
Learn more about my camera and photography
Go camping
Take Pearl to a nearby big aquarium
Bake my own bread
Attend the UU church, at least once
Finish Pearl's baby book and have it printed & bound
Get braces
Visit my brother-in-law and do some fun stuff in the city he lives in
Plant morning glories along the fence
Have friends and family over for dinner more often
Get out of the house by myself more, and not on errands, just for fun!
Buy only clothes that are comfortable, fit well, and are of good quality... this includes underwear!
Be more appreciative of my talents
Research vaccinations and decide what to do about them
Brush up on my espanol
Find a good family doctor
Paint. Draw.
Do some volunteer work
Don't go so long between haircuts that I feel like a total frump
Get dinner at least partially prepared during the day so I can spend more time in the evening with my husband and daughter
Remember that all I'm assured of ever getting is this moment

Another Milestone Reached

2007-01-03T06:55:00.000-08:00

Baby's first black eye:

She went down a slide really fast at the park the other day and flipped at the end, hitting her face twice on the side of it. Poor baby!

Blast from the Past

2006-12-31T08:29:00.000-08:00

Pearl, about six months old:

Nineteen Months Old

2006-12-28T21:20:00.000-08:00

Pearl has learned so many new words this month and I've been so busy that I haven't been able to jot them down when she learns a new one, but here are some highlights: In the beginning part of this month she made up a game, where she would say about whatever she was eating: "Ittttttttttttt's spaghetti! No, itsnot spaghetti, it's x!" Then she'd laugh and I'd laugh too. She's also been saying, "I found x" (particularly sweet when she says, "I found Ma!"). And she has learned the names of our cats, Timmie and Left Eye (pronounced Nest Eye, or rather, "Nessst EYE!").

She has been very cheerful and happy lately. Her nose has been stopped up since before Thanksgiving but she has learned to nurse efficiently with the gulp-gulp-gasp method and will do so without crying now. She has been nursing like there's no tomorrow lately and some of the nights this month have been really rough but as soon as they get so bad that I don't think I can handle anymore, they get better... and then the cycle repeats. Right now, several times a night she goes through periods where she won't sleep unless she is either latched on or half on top of me, and it's driving me kind of bonkers.

Pearl loves to climb onto the furniture and stand and plop herself back down on it. She gets all staticky and her hair goes all crazy:

She also has been enjoying playing with containers and their lids, blowing kisses, and cooking on the floor while I cook in kitchen. Anytime she's in the kitchen now she goes over to the pantry door (where the oats, main ingredients and star of the show in the dishes she prepares, are stored) and says, "Cookcook!"

She remembers and recognizes those extended family members whom she sees semi-regularity, and greets them with a cheery "Hi!" and will be held willingly pretty much right away. My teenage sister is a big hit with her. I told Pearl we were going to see her on Christmas Eve, and every ten minutes or so throughout the drive there she'd pipe up and say, "Ali! Let's go!"

Her second Christmas was fun for us all. Taking her to see the lights on the square was great, and by Christmas morning she understood the concept of unwrapping presents... at least that she was supposed to be ripping the paper, which she did wholeheartedly! She got some good gifts of varying sorts but here favorites are of course the books! Besides being big on books themselves, our families pretty much know that's what she likes bests and purchased some new ones for her accordingly and we've been enjoying having new stories like Olivia and The Big, Big Sea in the house.

She seems like such a big girl now that she is nineteen months old that I can hardly believe she was once curled inside my womb. But she still shakes her fists around like a newborn when she wakes and cries for me in the night, and every once in a while I am lucky to catch her lightly sleeping and see a dream-smile, and hear that same laugh that delighted me so much when she was just a few weeks old, and I am reminded of her beginnings. It is amazing that we created such a sweet and enchanting creature.

The Return of the Light

2006-12-22T17:50:00.000-08:00

I have seen the title phrase written in regards to the Winter Solstice a lot as I have read about it recently, and I like it. It has a nice ring to it. I've been reading a lot about the science behind the solstice as well as the role its occurrence has played in various cultures. As someone who has dealt with the effects of SAD for years, the Winter Solstice seems a day worth celebrating but I have never thought much about it before this year.

This year, with Pearl being more aware of the world around her and becoming a more integrated member of the family, I've been thinking a lot about the kind of meaningful holiday traditions I want to create for our families. I've been reminiscing about my family's rituals: my grandfather reading the Nativity story from the Bible, singing carols, opening gifts from family, and eating waffles with strawberries and whipped cream on Christmas Eve, then gathering beneath the tree on Christmas morning to open what gifts Santa had left beneath the tree and explore and enjoy what goodies he'd left in our stockings. Later on in the day, a big dinner featuring turkey and ham.

These traditions are not exactly the ones I want to craft for my little family. My beliefs are not the same as the older generation of my family's, though I am not quite sure what they are. As I'm figuring that out I'm trying to find rituals of my own that feel right: acknowledging the shifts in the seasons, the changes in the light, and how they effect the earth and her children.

I did buy a live tree this year, a big potted Norfolk Pine. It's an evergreen, and cheaper than the pines one can buy to plant in the yard after enjoying indoors for a few days. I wanted something small that I could decorate with toddler-friendly ornaments, and a cut tree doesn't seem much better than a fake tree to me at the moment - I went with a fake tree last year and was pretty disappointed with it. So, we have this funky little tree, which isn't something grown to withstand snowy winters but rather a tropical plant, green in the belief of year-round sun. I'm all about tropical so this is okay, but still not quite the same. It lacks the presence of a true pine. But an evergreen to me seems to be a good symbol of the season - hope of brighter days remaining through the darker ones.

On the day of the Solstice we ate a pretty simple dinner in the candlelight of a centerpiece I'd made from a white candle, red ornaments, and pine and holly branches I'd gathered from our yard:

And afterwards we took Elaina to see the Christmas lights that adorn the town square each year. She has been very excited when I point out Christmas lights in passing to her to the car, frantically signing and saying, "More more! Lights!" when they fade from view. So I thought she'd get a thrill out of seeing the thousands of lights there, and I wasn't wrong. She wandered about throwing her arms up in the air, palms open, her sign for lights... saying, "Lights! Lights! Let's go!" Except she can't yet pronounce the "l" sound, so it was more like, "Kights!"

It was wonderful to see her joy. That new tradition is definitely here to stay.

Today, we had a feast: an organic, free range turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry/apple/orange relish, sweet potatoes with a pecan praline crust, and pumpkin pies to come. We're still quite stuffed.

Tomorrow I am going to be making toffee and fudge, what seems to be my traditional gift to loved ones. On the morning of Christmas Eve we'll go see my in-laws, and in the evening we'll travel to my parents' house and take part in all the above-listed festivities, minus the strawberry waffles - my mother decided it was too much! So I may be adopting that into my home for a Christmas breakfast. On Christmas Day, Pearl will open her presents here beneath our wacky little tree, and pull the goodies out of her stocking, and then we'll have Christmas dinner with my family later on.

So, that is where I am now in this winter holiday season, trying to mash together my husband's family's non-beliefs, my family's beliefs, and my own confusion into something that expresses the spirit of the season and makes warm memories for Pearl to carry off into the world when she starts making her own traditions.

~* More about Tradition this week at Mama Says Om * ~

A Windy Day

2006-12-16T20:56:00.000-08:00

Today was warm and breezy, so we went to a lake park on the other side of town that we'd never been to before. It was 70 degrees... very much not the norm for this time of year; the record high for December in our state is 80 though, bless the South! (Or global warming, one...)

My husband took the photos of Pearl and I; the photoshopping is all me though.

A Few Photos

2006-12-16T11:42:00.000-08:00

I haven't picked the camera up a lot lately... but I got a few nice shots at the table in the afternoon light yesterday.

There's a Fungus Among Us

2006-12-15T13:39:00.000-08:00

Remember the rash I mentioned? Thrush. We have thrush. The tale-tell white patchy film has showed up on Pearl's tongue. Ick. No doubt it was fueled by her letting milk get all over the bed while she was sick and us wallowing in it all night whilst I was totally succumbing to a powerful sugar addiction. I don't even know what to do. I mean, I do, of course I've researched it and read about all the various treatments, but it just seems like it'll be too hard to deal with to even bother... she has her hands in the mouth all the time, she gropes the free nipple when she's nursing, she touches everything, she licks everything, in my mind's eye I can just see the stuff everywhere. The yeast infection is just topical on my breasts, and Pearl doesn't have the accompanying diaper rash, so as far as I know neither of us are really in any discomfort from it so at this point all I want to do is dose us up really well on probiotics, cut back on the sweets (omg, noooooo!!!), and hope it goes away... forget about gentian violet and topical creams and doctor's visits... but as I mentioned in the first link, she's been a very annoying little nursling and I'm wondering if discomfort from the thrush in her mouth might be contributing to that. Of course, she still isn't breathing well through her nose either, which I know is causing nursing problems. I don't know if it's a lingering reaction to her last cold, or the dairy I had at Thanksgiving, or some other, more mysterious problem that I'm unaware of.

I don't know, I'm just tired of it all, I wish we could just BE HEALTHY. I'm feeling very sulky about all this.

2006 in Review, Snippet-Style

2006-12-13T18:25:00.000-08:00

Elaine of Wannabe Hippie stardom has shared a fun meme, in which one posts the first sentence of every month's first post for all of 2006. Once I got over the shock of realizing that the year is coming to an end - I'd barely been dealing with the fact that Christmas is scarcely more than a week away! - I decided to join in the fun and hope some of you will, too! It was neat to take a look back through a year's worth of blogging and see a scroll-by of my life. Click on the month to see the full entry, and leave a comment if you do a mini-review as well!

January

Bubbles and a Round Rosy Cheek.

February

This eighth month has been a month of many firsts for Pearl: her first tooth, her first move, her first time crawling, first time sitting up by herself, first time pulling up to a standing position, first time in the big bath, first time at home with Daddy while Mama went out, first cat scratch.

March

Since Pearl was very, very young, we have gotten her to sleep by bouncing her on an exercise ball.

April
I love to take pictures of Pearl when she is asleep but haven't been able to do so as much since we moved, since she now sleeps behind closed doors and I don't want to risk waking her!

May
Here is a news bit from ABC on how much stay-at-home mothers should be paid.

June
I have a bit of time to myself, and of course, Blogger is down!

July
Music on my mother-in-law's back porch.

August
We've been practicing elimination communication for about a year now, so I thought I would share some thoughts on how the year has progressed in regards to pottying.

September
Last week a series of rainstorms ushered in Autumn.

October
The three of us are leaving on a microvacation to celebrate Mr. Peach and I's second anniversary.

November
Despite purchasing two bags of candy to hand out to trick-or-treaters (second bag being purchased after first bag being consumed) we did not stay home with our welcoming jack-o-lanterns to give it out to costumed children, nor did we go trick-or-treating ourselves.

December
Or about as close as it gets around here, anyway.

A Spaghetti Face

2006-12-12T09:16:00.000-08:00

Because I feel guilty about neglecting my blog, but have absolutely nothing else to share:

Introducing Baby

2006-12-07T06:50:00.000-08:00

So I have had the vague idea to get Pearl a doll sometime in the near future... then Mama C-ta talked about getting Cricket one for Christmas, and I kept coming across them in my holiday shopping. Then when my Uncle came down for Thanksgiving, his four-year-old daughter let Pearl hold her baby "for three minutes" and Pearl was in love, so I decided to go ahead and get her one for Christmas. So I shopped around and then decided I might as well make her one myself! It seemed like a project I could handle, fun to do, less expensive than having someone else make one, more personal than buying a mass produced one... so why not?

I went with the My Baby kit from Dancing Rain Dolls... I like supporting home based businesses over bigger companies when I can, and I'd heard good recommendations about Dancing Rain Dolls on a message board I frequent. I went ahead and got a pre-made head because that seemed like it would be the most time consuming, daunting part - though after my rough time getting the head attached to the body I am not so sure of that!

Amy, doll maker and proprietress of Dancing Rain Dolls, was very nice and helpful through the whole process, responding very promptly to my questions and checking in on me when she hadn't heard from me in a few days. The materials Amy provided to make the doll were just beautiful, really quality stuff. I know anyone who knits/crochets can appreciate this... like working with high-end yarns after using acrylics from Hobby Lobby. The materials all felt great when I was working with them and the doll feels lovely now that she's done.

She doesn't have a name yet... I don't really know whether to give her one or to wait until Pearl can name her herself, so in the meantime she is just baby. And here she is:

I tried to give her wild hair like Pearl's!

Sweet little face.

Belly button! Still debating on whether or not to add nipples.

She's definitely unique... she's a little crookedy all over, and I'm pretty sure I didn't stuff her legs enough - hence the appearance of rolls! But I am very pleased with how she turned out and I had a wonderful time making her. Making a doll is neat... she sort of came to life as I worked. I know Pearl will like her, she's already run off with her a few times when I've been working on her, smoothing her hair and hugging her tightly when I ask for her back. I still need to make her some clothes, but other than that, this project is complete!

Aaaaaaaagggghhhhh!

2006-12-06T09:22:00.000-08:00

That was the scream of a tired mama.

Pearl's sleep has soooooo not been good lately. I think she's got some molars coming in that are driving her a little crazy. She's mostly over her cold - no green snot for a few days now, thank goodness. I was so tired of being covered in snot, though Pearl was really good about letting me and even encouraging me to wipe her nose this time around rather than act like I was trying to smother her. She's still got a little bit of watery drippage going on but I think that could be a teething thing.

Anyway, she sleeps okay for the first half of the night but the second half, in the early early morning, she stirs and instead of just nursing sedately back to sleep as is normal she yells and cries a bit and nurses, while pinching the free nipple furiously. She has always been a twiddler. From the moment she gained some control of her hands she started trying to stick them in her mouth while she was nursing, so I wasn't able to nurse hands-free from that point on... I had to use one to support her/my breast and the other to run defense between her hand and her mouth so she didn't break her latch and could eat in peace. And once she realized there were TWO nipples... it was all over. Clothes won't stop her, distraction won't stop her... for the most part she will not nurse unless she has access to both breasts.

Since she's still stuffy too, she can't nurse very well and will stop and just breathe against my breath, milky and drool and snot betting the bed beneath us cold and wet... my breasts are rashy, her face is rashy and in general it just sucks. She usually only nurses a short while before rolling over, but if I so much as twitch she yelps again and rolls over for more milkies... and we repeat that a few times until she's good and asleep, and by that time my bladder is complaining about being full and my stomach is complaining about being empty and by the time I've drifted back to sleep she is waking up and yelping again. Ugh.

When I'm laying there awake I think about night weaning her... but I think doing so at a time when she's obviously in some sort of discomfort isn't really a good idea. So I think maybe some teething tabs or ibuprofen might be on the menu for tonight.

That's my rant! I'll be back soon with pictures and details about what I've been doing in these post-NaBloPoMo days.

Winter Wonderland

2006-12-01T16:34:00.000-08:00

Or about as close as it gets around here, anyway.

Five Previously Unknown Things about Fuzzypeach

2006-11-30T20:07:00.000-08:00

Christina tagged me to list five things I have not talked about here, providing me with some much needed inspiration for NaBloPoMo (Oh! It's over! I made it! Hooray!). As Elaine said, this was hard! But here are my five things:

I regret the time Pearl spent away from my side as a newborn in the hospital. I didn't think it would bother me beforehand, and it did minimally at the time, but now I feel badly about it and I wonder what she felt/thought at those times. I don't think I'll be having a hospital birth again, though it was a pretty good birth all around.
An aunt's Chow Chow bit a chunk out of my cheek when I was a toddler, leaving me with a scar near the corner of my mouth. I have only the vaguest memory of it, and I'm not sure if it is a true memory or just something constructed from the stories about it I have heard - but I've been very wary of dogs since.
When I was in high school I planned on becoming a midwife. I was studying to be a Bachelor of Science in Nursing, with the intent to go on and get my Master's in Nurse-Midwifery. After I stopped going to college I still toyed with the idea of becoming a plain old midwife until earlier this year, when the midwifery school in my city closed down. Realistically though, I do not think I am cut out to handle the stress/responsibility that comes with that job, as amazing and rewarding though it would be.
I don't generally have a problem with grossness... I can handle dirty diapers and scrubbing the bathroom just fine, but food grossness is another matter. I can't stand to mess with old food that's been sitting around on plates, and I when I do dishes I do everything I can to insure that I don't come into contact with any nastiness. I'm also paranoid about food being done enough.... food germs, ugh.
I read books I love over and over and over again, until they fall apart. I firmly believe that a good book is like an old friend - it's always nice to go and visit them!

Now I will tag my five: Sarah, S, Teri, Merseydotes, & Doow - please consider it inspiration and not obligation:) Anyone else who wishes to play along is of course welcome to as well! Leave a linky so I can check it out!

Today

2006-11-29T17:58:00.000-08:00

This morning I took a bunch of pictures of Pearls, practicing for a holiday portrait but not really getting anything as good as I'd like. Last year doing this I had a hard time just getting her to sit up and not fall over; this year I have a hard time keeping her from running off! It's crazy.

It was a soft gray, warmish day - balmy air pushed ahead of the cold front that has now hit. Pearl and I went to the park and played and played this afternoon, perhaps the last time we'll be able to do that for a while without bundling up. I just ordered her a winter coat a few days ago. I'd been eyeing this one from Land's End, but I was too slow and the blue one disappeared. So I got this one instead. It stole my heart with a blue intended for female use and a zipper protector - I hate worrying about zippers digging into Pearl's neck; I don't know why all coats aren't made like this. Her very first coat was an adorable corduroy jacket, but it had a zipper that bugged her so I replaced it with this one in light blue which is about as cute as can be - she looked like a little winter gnome.

Eighteen Months Old

2006-11-28T12:00:00.000-08:00

This month has been the month of talking! Pearl has learned a ton of new words. Along with plain old vocabulary, she's got some more abstract verbal concepts down and is forming her words into sentences. I can hold a mini-conversation with her, so long is the subject is about her needs and wants! She'll say "No more milkies." or "Want more pictures." and will answer me yes and no about things - though no is by far her favorite answer! We've been hearing it a lot around here.

The new words/phrases I've managed to remember this month:

Hello
Supper
Car
Bear
Truck
Monkey (and "ooo ooo ahhh ahhh")
Ali
Geoff
Shirt
Diaper
Uh huh (with a big nod!)
No
Moo
Yes
Tweet Tweet
Dinosaurs
Peepee
Poop
Girl
Boy
Bubbles
It's not..
Octopus ("Ockpahs!")
Elephant ("Efffant"
I don't know
Peas
Mice
Sip
Sippy
Cup
Moon
More
Chair
Table
Poke
Sleepin'
Hat
Head
Nose
Park
Play
Banana
Please
Slide

Note the inclusion of peepee and poop in the above list! She is able to verbalize about elimination now before, during, and after the act, and this has really boosted our success with pottying. In fact for the first time on Thanksgiving Day she said, "Peepee!" and sat down on the potty, then peed! I did have to turn her around though, as she sat on it sideways, but I bet she would have peed on it anyhow. So that was exciting.

With the addition of No to her lexicon, she is definitely feeling empowered and asserting her will. The fit-throwing is as yet at a minimum, generally only happening when she is tired or hungry. Otherwise she goes along willingly with my countering "Yes." She has had a few meltdowns, like when I didn't let her watch her beloved kitty video for the sixteenth time in a row...

She has gotten around to being fascinated by telephones, and anything handy becomes one as she holds it up to her ear and says, "Hello?": the cat's tail, a thermometer, her shoe... it's funny and terribly cute.

Pearl loves her same-aged cousin so much! Whenever they get together she follows her around faithfully, which is simply adorable but would work out better if her cousin didn't have such a penchant for getting into trouble!

For the past few days she has been sleeping until 8:3o or 9:00! 9:00!!! I don't know why - the later dawn, the curtains we hung finally having an effect, Daddy not getting up so early, her eleventh tooth popping through, who knows, who cares! We're sleeping in past sunrise! It's awesome, after weeks of rough sleep. Napping isn't going quite so smoothly, but ah well.

Pearl is at an age where she wants to mimic doing everything we do, and as such she likes to hang out with me while I do chores and help with them. She hands me clothespins when we hang laundry, and clothes hangers as we put it away. She's very interested in the dishwasher as well and loves to hand me stuff from it and toss stuff into the top rack. Toting the silverware basket around the kitchen is a favorite activity, as is putting my purse around her neck and taking it off again. The day after her father rearranged the living room, I saw her leaning against the sofa trying to push it, grunting.

One day as her Daddy was leaving for work, I looked away after giving him a goodbye kiss to see her standing next to me where I sat, eyes closed, head leaned back, lips puckered up, all ready for her kiss. It was very sweet.

I am really loving this age. Pearl is at a point where she is very expressive physically/verbally, but is not yet much inhibited by what the world thinks she should or should not do: she seems so very much herself. It is wonderful.

The Food of Love

2006-11-27T18:49:00.000-08:00

For the past few months I have been getting new music from eMusic, a DRM-free mp3 downloading service. I pay ten bucks a month and get forty songs, which is about three albums and a pretty good deal. They've since switched things around, so sadly new users will not get such a good deal. However, they do offer a free trial. eMusic hasn't had every artist or album I've looked for, but they have a huge selection of indie/obscure music and I have has a wonderful time browsing through it and discovering new artists. Here are a few of my finds:

Elizabeth Mitchell - You Are My Little Bird : This is an album of folksy songs recorded for children. Elizabeth Mitchell's voice is very pretty and is accompanied by simple instrumentals and, on some tracks, her daughter and husbands' voices. The effect is charming and this gets listened to a lot in the Peach household.
Nina Nastasia - On Leaving : This is Nina Nastasia's latest offering. Very good.
Espers - Espers : Espers is a band that makes music in the genre of "freak-folk" which I do not know much about, but from listening to it and reading about it, it seems like it is music made by hippies who like to eat shrooms and go to Renaissance Faires, maybe or maybe not at the same time. I like this album a lot (infer from that what you will). It was a perfect soundtrack for the transition between autumn's bright days and darker, duller weather.

Following the above links will lead to more in-depth reviews as well as song samples. I would love to hear your music recommendations!

She Was Close...

2006-11-26T18:09:00.000-08:00

Pearl, pointing to a turkey buzzard circling above us out on my in-laws' farm: "Tweet, tweet!"
Me: "Not quite, sweetie, not quite!"

In Which Pearl Discovers Acorns

2006-11-25T18:11:00.000-08:00

At my in-laws' house yesterday afternoon, Pearl found some acorns for the first time. It is experiences like this that made my old job teaching toddlers at a preschool worthwhile, and made me look forward to sharing them with children of my own. I love witnessing her explore and discover all the wonderful things in the world around her. She picked the acorns up and dropped them and found them again, her grandmother showed her how some had little caps, she rolled them across rocks and stashed them in a hole in a rock, and she tried to work her mouth around the syllables as we told her, "That's an acorn!" And then she attempted to eat them.

Unconscious Mutterings - 11/24/06

2006-11-24T10:22:00.000-08:00

Teacher ::

My sister-in-law, stern in front of a classroom of middle schoolers

Fifty ::

Graying hair, thickened middle

Crossword ::

Black and white, concentrating

Stuffed ::

Furry and soft, white fluff peeking out through worn spots

Family ::

Noisy, warm, smiling, laughing - sensing and marveling at our similarities, our differences

Purr ::

A happy cat, warm in the lap

Toad ::

A toad winking beneath a toadstool - from the art and words of

Gwen Frostic

(which I have long loved)

Cocktail ::

Shrimp! Cold shrimp.

Insecurity ::

Never feeling pretty, never feeling good enough

Magical ::

Fairy lights and things in the woods not-quite-glimpsed, the world that you think you could see if you could squint your eyes just so...

What My Thanksgiving Looked Like

2006-11-23T19:33:00.000-08:00

Oh, what a day. We'd intended to go see my in-laws in the morning, but being sick and tired and busy, we didn't. We'll visit with them tomorrow. Big family get-togethers like this always seem to stress me way out; surely that's not normal. I spend so much mental energy on making sure Pearl is ok and not getting into anything or being overwhelmed by adoring relatives that I don't feel able to focus on people like I should, and I don't have enough time to talk to out-of-state loved ones before Pearl gets tired and cranky. But it is always good to spend whatever time I can with my family, and the feast was delicious. I didn't get any really good photos of it, the dish I contributed, or much of anything really. I did however take a huge group shot of my family at my grandparents' request as pretty much everyone was there for once, and I think I got some that will be very good, with a little tweaking.

My little sister helping Pearl on some steps

My niece digging in the dirt (wish I had caught her hand in the shot!)

Two of my brothers, my husband, and my cousin playing Guitar Hero on PS2

The first dishes of the meal are set out...

Even though this holiday (and all the major holidays, now that I think of it) are pretty much a stressfest for me I can't help but mark the day for what it is: a time to be thankful for what I have - a big extended family that gives so much love, a kind, loving husband who works hard to provide us with good food and shelter, and my daughter, the light of my life.

I hope your Thanksgiving Day was a good one, too.

Feel Like Being Analyzed?

2006-11-22T19:18:00.000-08:00

Check out LikeBetter. It's the most engaging, interesting personality test-like thingy I've come across in a while. Two photographs are displayed side by side and you simply click which one you like better. After a while the brain icon below the photographs will glow, informing you that it knows something about it. It shares what it has gleaned when you click it. For me, it has been about fifty-fifty as far as accuracy goes - but some of the choices are very hard ones!

via PhotoJoJo, a nifty photography newsletter!

8 Second Ride

2006-11-21T18:55:00.000-08:00

Created haphazardly with Gickr, from some old photos. She is much more cooperative when it comes to getting her hair out of her face now, thank goodness.

Nothing much else to say tonight. Both Mr. Peach and I have caught Pearl's cold. Here's hoping we're all snot free by Turkey Day. If not, then I will just have to take twisted amusement in sending our germs all across the nation with the visiting relations.

10 Things

2006-11-20T18:58:00.000-08:00

Ten Random Things:

1. My baby sister is as old now as I was when my relationship with my ex-husband started. How can that be? She seems so young; I felt so old...

2. This morning I totally forgot and missed Pearl's 18 month well-baby visit. I was very upset with myself as I am anxious about having her turned-in foot reevaluated... the office staff was, as usual, not very kind or sympathetic. I really dislike that clinic. Our make-up appointment is a month and a half away with a completely different doctor than we saw last time.

3. The bank gave us a loan so we can pay off our credit card debt and nip sky-rocketing monthly payments in the bud, woohoo!

4. I am thinking about checking out the local Unitarian Universalist church.

5. This evening when I was moving some cookies I'd baked from the pan to a platter, I placed them in stacks rather than in a pile all willy-nilly. While doing so I had a flashback to my own childhood - standing at just above kitchen-counter height, eagerly watching as my mother placed hot chocolate chip cookies in stacks, one stack for each of us, three cookies each!

6. Wintry weather is definitely here: the temperature dips below freezing during the night and my husband rides his bike through a frosted landscape to work. The trees that line the backyard have lost all their leaves and the sun sets now as I cook supper, watching the pale pink and blue sky through the lacework of their branches.

7. I love the movie My Neighbor Totoro. Sweet, funny, magical. Beautiful artwork. No violence, the 'bad guy' is a real child's fear - the loss of a parent. This is the first anime I've really enjoyed (though I must admit that my exposure to it so far has been limited to Dragon Ball Z, Pokemon, and Sailor Moon!). I've watched it with Pearl a few times - she seems to enjoy it too.

8. We splurged this year and ordered an organic turkey. We're saving it until the bliss of Thanksgiving turkey wears off, then we'll roast it - on the Solstice, perhaps?

9. A friend of mine from high school is expecting her first baby, and I don't know that our friendship will survive it. Her parenting style & choices are vastly different from mine, and it breaks my heart to think of what her newborn will be missing out on. My mind says that I should respect her choices, but my heart cries out that they are wrong.

10. A random photo:

Read ten more things at Blueberry Pie, and ten more still at My Topography.

Thanks!

2006-11-19T17:44:00.000-08:00

I have been meaning to write this out, and now, with Thanksgiving nearing, seems a good time. I was to express my gratitude for all the kind and supportive words left in the comments of the post I made a few weeks ago about the abortion I had five years ago.

Thank you for sharing your own stories and sorrows. It is always strengthening to know that others have been there, too.

Thank you for complimenting my self-portrait. It was the first time I'd used my D50 with a wireless remote, and I ended up with a portrait that was just what I had in mind (minus a bit of photoshopping, of course).

Thank you for checking out and perhaps even signing the We Had Abortions petition, which aims to end the silence and stigma that surrounds abortion.

If anyone perhaps felt like saying less than kind things, thank you for not doing so. I was bracing for it. I am glad to have been wrong.

When the fact that I'd had an abortion was made known to my friends and family, a last painful weapon pulled out by my ex-husband when I told him I no longer wanted to be married to him, I called my mother to tell her before she heard from anyone else. After I had done so I couldn't help but ask if she still loved me. And of course she said she did. Her answer, of course, was yes. You can't really comprehend the love a mother feels for her child until you are a mother yourself. I wouldn't need to ask such a question today.

AhhhhhChoo!

2006-11-19T12:13:00.000-08:00

Poor sick baby.

Sickly AGAIN!

2006-11-18T18:06:00.000-08:00

Despite using a cart cover, despite religious hand wiping and washing, despite breastfeeding, despite me resuming my prenatal vitamins, despite echinacea, despite vitamin C tablets, Pearl has a runny nose and is sneezing and coughing again. This is the fourth cold in six weeks.

I have a baby shower for a friend to attend tomorrow afternoon, and a birthday dinner for my little sister right after that; both are about forty miles away from home. Whether or not we'll go depends on how Pearl is feeling tomorrow. It doesn't seem right that she gets sick so often. It was like this last winter too, maybe not quite as bad as we were living outside of town and didn't leave the house as much. Pearl is perfectly healthy and normal and on track in every other way... so I don't know what to think. I hope she feels better soon and stays that way for a while this time!

Unconscious Mutterings - 11/17/06

2006-11-17T18:34:00.000-08:00

Nick ::

shaving cream, wet skin

Focus ::

camera lens, red reflections

Police ::

dogs and lights

Miles ::

working, working, working towards payday

Earn ::

endless roads, shifting scenery, wide open blue winter sky

Twice ::

double take; a glitch in the Matrix!

Razor ::

thinnest edge, what's simple is true, Jewel's voice (the more I live, the more I know...)

Personality ::

fill in the bubbles, fit in a slot

Dumped ::

McDonald's bags and paper cups with plastic lids lining the road

Reliable ::

steady, rhythmic, beating on

Care to play along?

My Baby Bookworm

2006-11-16T19:11:00.000-08:00

Today being Thursday, we went to the library's program for babies. The past few times we've been there Pearl has not wanted out of my lap, but she smiles and laughs as babies and toddlers scamper around, and the adults sing and play hand games. Today she warmed up right as the program was ending and was clapping, then got up and did a little scampering around of her own.

It is always a lot of fun to see all of the babies; the little tiny ones who stay put and take it all in, the fearless crawlers, the new walkers waddling around, the older tots singing and dancing along with the program's director. My favorite part of the program is the last verse to The Wheels on the Bus - when all the adults in the room sing, "The parents on the bus go 'Shh shh shh!'", all cooing and babbling and shouting and moving ceases and silence falls almost eerily across the room. Then the director wisely uses this moment of calm to start reading the day's book.

After the book it's pretty much a free for all. A tub of books is set out for the babies. The moms gather up in clusters to chat... it's pretty clique-y, and being clique-less I feel rather left out and lonely at that point. (The playgroup I'd been going to fell apart with the advent of cold weather, so I'm feeling extra sad in this area.) Everyone seems to know people and have no interest in interlopers. Once I chatted with a nice mama who seemed to be like-minded, but I never saw her there again.

In the last picture, Pearl is investigating a little boy laying down with a book... he shortly afterward started kicking her, then later quite purposefully smacked her in the face with a book as she wandered by him! Poor Pearl was a little perplexed but other than that was okay; it takes more than that to get her down. Having been out of the daycare scene for a few years, I hadn't witnessed any baby-on-baby violence in a while. Was kind of startling.

I Need a Translator!

2006-11-15T19:08:00.000-08:00

If anyone reading happens to speak toddlerese, could you please tell me what the phrase "Ah no no fo fo nose" means? Pearl has been uttering it quite frequently lately, in a rather solemn tone of voice, and I can't figure it out!

An Evening at the Park

2006-11-14T17:25:00.000-08:00

Trying to get in as much outside time as we can before winter sets in for good...

If the colors in my photographs seem off lately, please forgive me... I am using both new RAW processing software and a newly calibrated monitor and I'm pretty much lost. There are a few more shots from this evening in my flickr photostream.

To Do with a Tot

2006-11-13T18:19:00.000-08:00

My husband wanted me to come up with a list of things to do with Pearl when he's in need of inspiration, and these are the ideas I gathered up. I thought I would share them here, too. I found many, many more ideas but pared them down to the ones I thought most suitable for an eighteen month old. Please feel free to give suggestions! This list is a work in progress.

Around the House:

Build a jungle gym (away from hard corners) out of sofa cushions
Hide an object under one of two or three cu ps & have her try to find it
Blocks! Knocking over the tower is a favorite, but try horizontal 'stacking' too! And sorting by shape. Someday I want to get some colored ones so we can sort them by color.
Take her on a blanket ride through the house!
Listen to music and dance!
Sing and do the movements that go along with:

The Wheels on the Bus
Itsy Bitsy Spider
Patty Cake
Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes
Etc

Get a Little Messy:

Paint! (at the table/outside please!)
Bubbles!
Color with crayons!
Texture play - get a few bowls/containers. Fill them with cheap, differently textured stuff - one or two kinds at a time. Include measuring cups for scooping; funnels, slotted spoons. Talk about the color, texture, size, shape, taste if she tastes it! Add a container of water if you want to get really wild.

cornstarch
cornmeal
oatmeal
ice cubes
cotton balls
jello
pudding
dry beans
rice
flour

Get Out:

Go to the park!
Go outside!
Go to the library!

On the Computer:

Explore Flickr - try photos other than those of herself. Family members is okay but I think better yet would be animals: kitties, puppies, birds. A tag search for pets and then talking about/identifying the kinds of pets, for example. Body parts would be another good one (careful with that one though! ;) )
Kneebouncers - this is a site with lots of simple flash games. Some of them require aiming, but others (the guitar/keyboard/drums one is good) just respond to banging on the keyboard and/or clicking mouse buttons
Make a Jackson Pollock painting - Move mouse to paint, click button to change colors.
YouTube for Toddlers - This a list full of links of toddler-entertaining YouTube clips. And let's not forget her favorite, the Silly Kitties video.
Music Videos on Noggin - Can't go wrong with Laurie Berkner, Dan Zanes, and Elizabeth Mitchell!
Learn some new signs!

Fun with Hats

2006-11-12T19:10:00.000-08:00

Since we've been living here for six months, this weekend we finally decided to get around to hanging curtains in the living room and going through all the junk in what will someday be Pearl's bedroom. While going through some clothes in there I came across some of her hats. Her father had donned one before venturing out into the cold recently and she had been pretty nervous about its presence on his head so I thought putting one on her head and showing it to her in the mirror and talking about it wouldn't be a bad idea. The one Mr. Peach is wearing (with the seam to the front... argh!) is one I crocheted for him out of faux mohair for a birthday a few years back, and Pearl is wearing a hat her paternal grandmother bought her for Christmas last year.

She was irritated about the hat at first but once I showed her reflection wearing it she didn't even try to take it off, just sat and gazed at herself!

Fainting Goats

2006-11-11T17:53:00.001-08:00

This video has been cracking me up all day. These goats are hilarious to watch but I feel kind of bad about it! They apparently have a genetic disorder which causes their muscles to stiffen (painlessly) for about ten seconds when they are startled or excited. Sometimes they fall over and sometimes they just stand or hop around straight-legged - funny whichever they do. I got a kick out of hearing their various monikers as well!

Unconscious Mutterings: 11/10/06

2006-11-10T18:52:00.000-08:00

Some free association on a Friday night:

Theft ::

Crops

Storage ::

Box

Pick ::

Array

Los Angeles ::

Sun and grime

The one ::

Word

Accent ::

Tie

Rivalry ::

Romeo

Process ::

Life

Streets ::

Lights after dark

Museum ::

Old

I came across this activity at Ramblings of an Ever Hungry Mind and it looked fun! However it was a bit harder than I thought it would be - images come to mind rather than words. I read afterwards it'd be okay to use more than a word or two but didn't go back and edit as that would sort of be missing the point! Next time I will be more relaxed about it.

Care to play along?

Project Complete: Shopping Cart Cover

2006-11-09T17:39:00.000-08:00

This week I completed a project I started half a year ago: a shopping cart cover for Pearl to cruise around stores in! I am hoping this will cut down on some of the germs we are exposed to. She has had three colds in four weeks - we went to the doctor on Wednesday, and she sobbed and shook while having her ears and mouth and nose examined, but he determined there was no infection... just yet another cold - so this is one of the steps I'm taking to try and keep her healthy. I cut out the fabric for the cart cover in the beginning of this year, but Pearl got sick and I never finished it!

I made it loosely following instructions found here. The top part is pink flannel covered in crazy goggley-eyed orange giraffes, palm trees, and flowers - very bright and loud! The bottom layer is pink fleece. I put two pockets and one toy loop (though it only enraged her that my keys would not come loose from it). I made buttonholes for the first time for the carts' straps to go through, and for the drawstrings. All I have is a fuzzy picture; I might add a close-up of the fabric later because the print is so fun.

I "rewarded" myself for completing this project by going to Walmart. I needed a few things from there that I hadn't been able to find elsewhere. We don't shop there normally and I was reminded why - it's dirty, crowded, and this trip introduced a new irritant: large flat screen tvs suspended from the ceiling, alternately spewing advertisements and country music. I didn't find half of what I was looking for there, either, and the curtain I bought was two small so I had to return it (see picture). I went to the classier Walmart across town but they didn't have any of the other things I was looking for, either. Ebay, ho!

Thrilled!

2006-11-08T18:26:00.000-08:00

Well, I am feeling much better about America's political situation now that elections are over! Good news all around: Democrats have gained control of Congress, the majority of Governors are now Democrats (mine included! Huzzah!), a woman is set to become the first female Speaker of the House, and Rumsfeld has resigned. Here's hoping this will lead us to a better future! I am sticking my fingers in my ears as my conspiracy theorist husband idly wonders if perhaps we are just being set up to trust the voting system so that we can be taken advantage of again in the '08 Presidential election.

Hair!

2006-11-07T19:05:00.000-08:00

Today, I Voted

2006-11-06T10:13:00.000-08:00

I wrapped Pearl up in the mei tai today and voted early in the County Clerk's office. I was feeling really, really ambivalent about voting this time around but decided to go ahead and do it. The past two Presidential elections left me very disillusioned about the state of our democracy. Given everything we've learned about the '04 election since then, the lies and scandals that ooze forth from our government on a constant basis, and the lack of repercussions for wrongs done - it just seems kind of pointless to me, to vote. Maybe once, my vote would've counted. Since this was a local election, and I opted to vote using a paper ballot, perhaps it will still. But I don't feel very hopeful about things changing vastly for the better. I lack the money, the power, the connections of those who run this country and so I don't think I can do anything about it. Call me lazy, call me a pessimist; I won't argue. That's where I stand on politics at the moment.

It's gray and gloomy outside and I just don't have it in me to be very hopeful right now. Even so I want to encourage everyone to vote... and to stay away from the touch screens. Choose the paper ballot, if you have that option - don't let your vote slip away without a trace.

Peach and Pearl

Snakes/Snails/Puppy Dog Tails

September

Eleven Weeks

Thirty-Two Months Old

2007

Thirty-One Months Old

I Hope Your Holidays Were *This* Merry!

Two and a Half Years Old

Stomach Bug

Here We Go Again!

Twenty-Nine Months Old

Projects Completed: Kimono & Corduroys

Twenty-Eight Months Old

Thoughts from the Past Week

Happiness

First of the Autumn Sewing

First Night Apart: A Success.

One Day/One Week

Twenty-Seven Months Old

Stagnant

Heavenly Blue

Cottage Roses Twirly Patchwork Dress

Reunion

Camping = Superfun

Twenty-Five Months Old

Now or Never

7:30 AM

I'm Thinking We Should Shop at the Farmer's Market More Often

Two Years Old

Happy Birthday, Pearl!

This & That

Happy Birthday to Me!

I've Gone Shirr Crazy!

Twenty-Three Months Old

Guess It's Time to Watch Our Mouths!

Potty Progress!

Happy Easter!

I Could Cry: A Garden Journal Entry

Twenty-Two Months Old

The Little Laundress

Things I'm Excited About Right Now

Just Another Spaghetti Face!

Tiered Dress

Chocoholic

Twenty-One Months Old

A Somewhat Grudging Elimination Communication Update

A Girl, A Bike, and A Duck.

This is Not a Valentine

Two Potties Are Better Than One!

Q. How Do You Know When You've Been Stuck in the House With a Sick Toddler for Too Long?

Snow!

Song

Twenty Months Old

Mystery Solved!

Back to Blue

I Guess We've Entered that Stage of Toddlerhood in Which the Toddler Says Hilarious Things

Self Portrait Tuesday: New Year's Resolutions

A Nursing Photo

Happy

Yep, It's January.

Come Out, Come Out, Where Ever You Are!

Uberlist

Another Milestone Reached

Blast from the Past

Nineteen Months Old

The Return of the Light

A Windy Day

A Few Photos

There's a Fungus Among Us

2006 in Review, Snippet-Style

A Spaghetti Face

Introducing Baby

Aaaaaaaagggghhhhh!

Winter Wonderland

Five Previously Unknown Things about Fuzzypeach

Today

Eighteen Months Old

The Food of Love

She Was Close...

I Hope Your Holidays Were This Merry!