Tuesday, August 23, 2005


Today hasn't been a good day, nope. I'm really tired. We even slept until 8:30am but, yeah, tired. The reflux and gassiness and crankiness of the past few nights is taking its toll. It is heartbreaking to hear her cry so and frustrating to not be able to fix it, stir in the guilt of it being my fault and I'm just really strung out.

Pearl and I went into town to go to the library and buy some pacifiers. I also bought a few new toys for her, toys that do not make a 'pssssss' sound when they rattle as I think that was causing some confusion with the whole EC thing. I picked up the toys and pacifiers at Target, then we went to a park in town and I fed her and walked around with her a bit, talked to a grandma and her nine-month-old grand daughter. Then we headed to the library, I put her in the mei tai, and into the library we went, where she promptly started squawking. So I ducked into the ladies' room and tried one of the pacifiers. She was not at all impressed with it and acted insulted that I had stuck it in her mouth. So I got her out of the mei tai and the mei tai back into the diaper bag (no small feat when there is nowhere to set the baby down - lazy me, I leave the changing pad in the car, gotta stop doing that) and held her facing out on my hip and chomping on that hand while getting books and checking them out with the other hand.

Many times now I have wished we had bought an infant car seat rather than a convertible. If Pearl won't be content in whatever carrier I'm using it is near impossible to get anything done while out and about alone. Of course there is no guarantee she'd be any happier in a bucket at those times, but at least then I wouldn't get strange looks. Also, she'd be able to sleep continuously without being disturbed by the in-and-out of the carseat business. I now understand the importance of not interupting a baby's sleep, oh, yes I do.

I offered her the breast when we got back to the car but she would only suck long enough for the milk to start flowing, then pop off. So I offered her the pacifier and she kind of chomped/sucked on it but couldn't keep it in her mouth by herself so she started crying once I headed to the driver's seat. And she screamed while driving still (oh how she hates stopping at red lights) so I pulled into a Sonic and got in the back seat and this time she accepted the breast and nursed for a few minutes until she was asleep. Then we headed home. I took a few extra roads as to not wake her from the sleep she really, really needed and I got some peace and quiet.

And she was a crankypants when we got home too but I finally bounced her to sleep in the mei tai, which is where we are now, in the mei tai, on the birth ball, in front of the computer. Very tired. I am going to try to lay down but sometimes she wakes up when I get her out of this thing, wish me luck.


Blogger christina said...

Oooh fuzzy peach, I remember that time soo well, and yet it goes by so quickly. It really does. The sheer exhaustion and insanity of it passes, and then poof, it's different. Keep trying with the pacifier. My little guy didn't take it until he was around 3.5 or 4 months old, and that was after me offering it to him frequently. He's definitely a baby who's comforted by sucking, and so once he understood how to use it, it really helped to soothe him. If it's any help, he really had a preference for the Nuk kind. They're shaped differently, and seemed to fit into his mouth more comfortably.

Also, about the carseat, it is really convenient to have the infant seat that you can carry around. It worked so well for him--when he was asleep not to wake him, and because you can kind of rock it, it was a great thing to bring to restaurants to let him go to sleep in. We're both really hands on parents & were accustomed to carrying him alot, but found that there were times where he prefered to have his own space to go to sleep. The car seat really helped with that.

If you haven't already read it, pick up Anne Lamott's Operating Instructions. It will make you laugh :)

You're such an intuitive mom. Don't feel guilty because she's crying. Babies sometimes just need to--to relieve their own "stress" from being stimulated all day.

Oh, and one other thing--try sitting with her in the mei tai on one of those big physio balls they have at the gym (also called a birth ball by midwives). Bounce gently up and down. It put Bean to sleep or at least calmed him almost immediately. When he was Pearl's age, we spent a lot of time doing that. And it worked for several other friends of mine with little ones.

Good luck!

6:23 AM  
Blogger christina said...

Oh, and by the way, I totally hated the idea of a pacifier too.But rapidly changed my mind.:)

6:24 AM  
Blogger dk said...

the idea of the baby in the bucket is making me giggle..

As mentioned above, this will pass in a heartbeat. I know that is hard to hear right now, but it will.

When my second daughter was wee little she was a screamer and she also refused to nap or sleep, ever. But before i knew it that was over! (okay, she still screams but she's four and that is what they do)

9:38 AM  
Blogger Mama C-ta said...

Man I'm sorry but don't blame yourself!

I can only imagine how hard it was to take off the mei tai and wrap it up while holding a baby. I love them but once J wakes up he wants out ASAP and shrieks to let me know and it's not the quickest carrier to get on and off.

I use an infant seat but I can barely carry the damn thing anymore. Literally, not kidding. With J being so big and they aren't light anyway, I don't get as much use out of it as I should so I've been putting him in a sling once we get to our destination. Fortunately, or unfortunately he doesn't like the car much so he's rarely sleeping when we get there anyway.

1:44 PM  

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