One Year Old!

So I guess Pearl is a toddler now. I haven't really said that out loud yet, because I'm sort of in denial about it, but she is walking. She can stop walking and start walking again, she can change directions, she can even run a little ways. The other day she impressed me by running from the computer desk then dropping to a crawl when she reached the table, which she is too tall now to walk beneath. She can also stand without pulling up on anything, although I personally have not seen her do this; I've just seen her standing up when she previously wasn't, when she's not near anything to pull up on. Plus, her daddy says he's seen her do it. She does still fall a lot and she is quite pigeon-toed, which trips her up more than I'd like. It is more pronounced when she is walking with assistance and/or with shoes on than it is when she is walking alone and barefoot. I think I'll probably make a well-baby visit appointment - we don't do them regularly as we are not vaccinating Pearl at this point - and get a professional opinion about it.



Though it is sad that she's leaving infancy behind, it is so fun to see her standing around and walking between things. I can finally convince her to let go of the couch and she'll come to me at a run - such sweetness to catch her up in my arms.



Climbing has also been a big thing this month, though we don't have much here for her to climb. She clambers up the odd boxes that come into our house and all over us when we're on the floor, and she has been goind up my in-laws' stairs like she's been doing it her whole life during our recent visits. I've also taught her to turn and slide off our bed and she has been perfecting that move on the drop from the living room to the dining room, which is funny because it's not nearly high enough to require taking such care.

She has rediscovered her voice this month and has been babbling away, making the most funny sounds as she goes about her baby business. It is especially cute to hear her read to herself.



At the beginning of this month we settled into a nice napping routine - a short morning nap at around 9:30, and a long afternoon nap at 2:30. Well, as always happens when I am pleased with the predictability of her days, Pearl decided to shake things up and I have no idea how many naps a day she needs right now or how long they should be. I do not impose a schedule but I do try to follow her cues and keep a rhythm going so that I can plan our activities accordingly and make sure she is well-rested. At the moment it's pretty much a mystery. I blame teething; she's been restless at night and waking up early, and acting like her mouth is hurting.

Speaking of teeth, a few days back Pearl was eating lentils when some escaped her fingers and she tried to eat one off her wrist like she often does, but she bit herself, and she got so angry! She gritted her teeth and growled for a good long time, turning red in the face. It was the cutest fit of fury I have ever seen. She is definitely communicating more about what she is upset about and what she doesn't want; she will shake her head no at me if I try to nurse her and she doesn't want to eat, and as always she makes it pretty plain that she is irate about having her diaper changed. We have been doing a little bit better with the Elimination Communication this month, and there is a new development - she has been using the potty sign some, and has once or twice gotten the potty out from its home beneath the coffee table when she needs to tinkle. That is very encouraging!



Pearl has become very blatant about wanting to nurse and it's pretty amusing: she will come up to me and stretch out the neck of my shirt and peer down inside it and if I don't respond quick enough she'll stick her arm in and feel around. She also uses the milky sign and often with both hands, which is no coincedence as she insists on having access to both breasts. She is letting me nurse her sitting up a lot lately; for months she would only nurse lying down. I hadn't even tried in weeks and when I nurse her sitting up now she doesn't even fit on my lap! I look down and see that I am nursing a child, not a little bitty baby.

She has been very "mama-oriented" this month and fusses when I leave the room or get out of the car or am out of reach in general. So I have been spending more time than usual holding and cuddling her, and though it can be irritating to have her complain any time I try to do something, I have also enjoyed the extra closeness at this time when she is taking steps away from me.



One year ago I went into labor and at 4:35 tomorrow morning, my baby will be a year old. It has been incredible, watching her grow and change and learn; there is nothing to compare it to. When she was tiny and new and grew even more quickly than she is doing now, I used to feel frighteningly sad about the stage of her life we were leaving behind. I think I felt that in a way I might be leaving her behind, but I've realized I haven't. She is still the same person she has always been; her essence still shines through and things about her are as true now as they were in the womb. Pearl is still the same strong, determined, intense girl and seeing her grow into herself and emerge further into the world with each milestone she passes, each inch she grows and each new thing she learns has been the most joyous, humbling, mind-blowing experience. Thank you for the honor of being your mother and giving me the opportunity to see a person come into being, my sweet little Pearl, and Happy Birthday!