This is Not a Valentine

~* More letters this week at Mama Says Om *~

Song

Here is Pearl, singing a semi-unprompted rendition of the aforementioned Elizabeth Mitchell, followed by my version:

~* Find more songs at Mama Says Om *~

Uberlist

I was pleased to see that the New Year's theme at Mama Says Om is Uberlist, something they did last year and I was looking forward to participating in this time around. Lofty and lowly, here are some plans, hopes, and resolutions for 2007, in no particular order:

• Create a mixed vegetable-herb-flower garden that is beautiful as well as functional
• Be kinder and more patient
• Eat less sweets
• Learn more about nutrition and put what I learn into practice
• Add lunches to the meal plan so that Pearl and I always have something yummy and healthy to eat in the middle of the day
• Be more diligent about reading nonfiction
• Keep the house cleaner
• Breathe deeply
• Learn to felt
• Go through my bazillion digital photographs and get rid of the cruddy ones
  
• Learn to knit
• Get more bookshelves
• Frame and hang more pictures
• Install a cat door
• Make a quilt for our bed
• Set up Pearl's room
• Start moving Pearl into her own bed
• Make my own greeting cards - enlist Pearl's help on some!
• Do yoga
• Learn to batik
• Start composting
• Write more
• Learn more about my camera and photography
• Go camping
• Take Pearl to a nearby big aquarium
• Bake my own bread
• Attend the UU church, at least once
• Finish Pearl's baby book and have it printed & bound
• Get braces
• Visit my brother-in-law and do some fun stuff in the city he lives in
  
• Plant morning glories along the fence
• Have friends and family over for dinner more often
• Get out of the house by myself more, and not on errands, just for fun!
• Buy only clothes that are comfortable, fit well, and are of good quality... this includes underwear!
• Be more appreciative of my talents
• Research vaccinations and decide what to do about them
  
• Brush up on my espanol
• Find a good family doctor
• Paint. Draw.
  
• Do some volunteer work
• Don't go so long between haircuts that I feel like a total frump
• Get dinner at least partially prepared during the day so I can spend more time in the evening with my husband and daughter
• Remember that all I'm assured of ever getting is this moment

The Return of the Light

I have seen the title phrase written in regards to the Winter Solstice a lot as I have read about it recently, and I like it. It has a nice ring to it. I've been reading a lot about the science behind the solstice as well as the role its occurrence has played in various cultures. As someone who has dealt with the effects of SAD for years, the Winter Solstice seems a day worth celebrating but I have never thought much about it before this year.

This year, with Pearl being more aware of the world around her and becoming a more integrated member of the family, I've been thinking a lot about the kind of meaningful holiday traditions I want to create for our families. I've been reminiscing about my family's rituals: my grandfather reading the Nativity story from the Bible, singing carols, opening gifts from family, and eating waffles with strawberries and whipped cream on Christmas Eve, then gathering beneath the tree on Christmas morning to open what gifts Santa had left beneath the tree and explore and enjoy what goodies he'd left in our stockings. Later on in the day, a big dinner featuring turkey and ham.

These traditions are not exactly the ones I want to craft for my little family. My beliefs are not the same as the older generation of my family's, though I am not quite sure what they are. As I'm figuring that out I'm trying to find rituals of my own that feel right: acknowledging the shifts in the seasons, the changes in the light, and how they effect the earth and her children.

I did buy a live tree this year, a big potted Norfolk Pine. It's an evergreen, and cheaper than the pines one can buy to plant in the yard after enjoying indoors for a few days. I wanted something small that I could decorate with toddler-friendly ornaments, and a cut tree doesn't seem much better than a fake tree to me at the moment - I went with a fake tree last year and was pretty disappointed with it. So, we have this funky little tree, which isn't something grown to withstand snowy winters but rather a tropical plant, green in the belief of year-round sun. I'm all about tropical so this is okay, but still not quite the same. It lacks the presence of a true pine. But an evergreen to me seems to be a good symbol of the season - hope of brighter days remaining through the darker ones.

On the day of the Solstice we ate a pretty simple dinner in the candlelight of a centerpiece I'd made from a white candle, red ornaments, and pine and holly branches I'd gathered from our yard:



And afterwards we took Elaina to see the Christmas lights that adorn the town square each year. She has been very excited when I point out Christmas lights in passing to her to the car, frantically signing and saying, "More more! Lights!" when they fade from view. So I thought she'd get a thrill out of seeing the thousands of lights there, and I wasn't wrong. She wandered about throwing her arms up in the air, palms open, her sign for lights... saying, "Lights! Lights! Let's go!" Except she can't yet pronounce the "l" sound, so it was more like, "Kights!"



It was wonderful to see her joy. That new tradition is definitely here to stay.

Today, we had a feast: an organic, free range turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry/apple/orange relish, sweet potatoes with a pecan praline crust, and pumpkin pies to come. We're still quite stuffed.

Tomorrow I am going to be making toffee and fudge, what seems to be my traditional gift to loved ones. On the morning of Christmas Eve we'll go see my in-laws, and in the evening we'll travel to my parents' house and take part in all the above-listed festivities, minus the strawberry waffles - my mother decided it was too much! So I may be adopting that into my home for a Christmas breakfast. On Christmas Day, Pearl will open her presents here beneath our wacky little tree, and pull the goodies out of her stocking, and then we'll have Christmas dinner with my family later on.

So, that is where I am now in this winter holiday season, trying to mash together my husband's family's non-beliefs, my family's beliefs, and my own confusion into something that expresses the spirit of the season and makes warm memories for Pearl to carry off into the world when she starts making her own traditions.

~* More about Tradition this week at Mama Says Om * ~

Scary

Scary is the thought that one day I will die. One day, all that I feel and know will be over. And I love life so much that thinking about it terrifies me. And I won't even go into how it feels to contemplate the loss of my daughter or husband.

I do not belong to any religion; I am agnostic and am still figuring out what I believe. I don't have faith to comfort me in this. All I can do is remind myself that since I don't know how much time I have left, and I don't know what will happen after I die, I had better make the most of each moment I live. I'm working on that.

~* Find out what scares other ladies at Mama Says Om *~

A Life Filled with Books

There are very few times in my life that I can recall when I was not reading at least one book. Reading is like eating (I happen to often combine the two activities!)

I started reading to Pearl before she was born, and her father read her some Dr. Seuss before she even left the hospital. For the first few months of her life Pearl and I fell asleep listening to him read aloud in bed each night. Not long after that she started obviously enjoying being read her books while nestled in our laps.

Her books are her favorite toys, and one of the few she will play with on her own, though she is not always content to do so - in fact, if I am sitting at the computer while she is awake, there is a good chance I am being whacked with a book!

She recently has begun reciting words she's memorized while she sits and reads to herself, punctuating the babble with "shhhh!" or "kite!" or "kiss!"

We occasionally go to Baby Bookworms at the library, or just to the library itself, letting Pearl wander the rows upon rows of books, selecting some to sit in nooks and read.

I spend a lot of time looking online for books to get her as she grows (this is one I am particularly looking forward too, but I am making myself wait until she can really get the most out of it! Next fall, perhaps.) I've created a wishlist for her too, mostly containing books I loved as a child.

The world of books is such a fascinating one, one that I have gleaned so much from. I am thrilled to be sharing my love of reading with my daughter and watching as she gets her toes wet in the literary life.

~* Find more Life at Mama Says Om *~

Fall

Photos of the changing seasons taken on our trip to Mount Magazine:


















~* See more of Fall at my flickr set from the trip, at Mama Says Om! *~

Beauty is...

Beauty is a home baked chocolate cake so melt-in-your-mouth tender that it collapses upon being removed from its pan...



I love to cook. It is the one creative effort I am sure to have time for because it doubles as a chore. Scrubbing the toilet and putting laundry away just do not bring the same satisfaction. Cooking is more than dull drudgery. It's alchemy, sculpture, therapy. And the result is often delicious.

The planning phase of a project is often the part I enjoy most. I sift through recipe sites for new dishes almost daily. When inspiration strikes, I hunt for advice as to how to make my ideas work. I devour cookbooks and hungrily await updates from the food blogs I read.

I made this cake using this recipe. Having only half of the flour required, I substituted cocoa for the rest and the result is heavenly. It is very moist but not gooey, and the oats and whole wheat flour I used provide some textural interest.

~* For Mama Says Om *~

Pearl Took a Tumble

Not an unusual occurance for one who has only been walking for a few months, but check out the huge goose egg on the poor girl's cheek:



She refuses to sit idly in the stroller while we take our evening walks in the park these days, and insists instead upon walking, preferably without holding on to a parent's hand. The asphalt of the downhill path was unforgiving, and she landed right on her cheek. After some tears and cuddling she was determined to walk some more, all by herself. So we led her onto the grass and there she took some more tumbles, with softer landings.

More tumbling can be found at Mama Says Om this week.

Treat

Today after Pearl and I ventured to the farmer's market for zucchini and onions, we went to the independent used bookstore I've been wanting to visit since I moved to this town. It was as wonderful as I could have hoped, and I found a beautiful book to read to Pearl, but that was not my treat.

My treat was returning to the store later in the afternoon, after I'd gotten Pearl down for her nap - ALL BY MYSELF! I left her in the care of my husband and spent an hour and a half wandering through small, multi-leveled rooms full of stacks and shelves of every sort of book under the sun. I'd forgotten my cell phone at home and realized it on the way there. I debated going back for it but reminded myself that my husband was perfectly capable of caring for our baby and so I continued on, and therefore was uninterrupted by phone calls. No monkey swatting at piles of books from her seat on the mei tai, squawking protests when I leaned over. Just me, and a multitude of books.

Along the the chipmunk book I bought on my first trip, I bought Pearl two board books, two Roald Dahl books that I loved as a child and I hope she will, too (got to cross them off her wish list, hooray!), and for myself I bought The Lost World of the Kalahari, by Laurens van Der Post, who is a great author. All for $15!

~*~*~~~ for Mama Says Om's theme this week, "Treat" ~~~*~*~