Snakes/Snails/Puppy Dog Tails

We found out this morning that we are going to have a boy! His umbilical cord was right in the way for most of the scan, so our nurse-midwife wants to double check the gender as well as some other things at the next appointment. However, I got a clear glimpse towards the end of the show and there isn't any doubt in my mind. We are going to have a son!

This news and the fact that I've been tending Pearl through a throwing-up bug has made it all kinds of an exciting and emotional day. Poor girl was clingy and tearful and unreasonable getting ready for the appointment, and on the way home she threw up in her car seat - a real 'aha, that's what's going on' moment. She is, thankfully, feeling much better now.

Ultrasounds are such neat things. It's so neat to see your little one wiggling away, putting an image to what you feel from the inside, to catch a glimpse of a little hand, an ear, toes...

September

September is a beautiful month where I live - cool air, blue skies, and warm, golden sunshine. Here at the end of the month the leaves are starting to blush and drop, and darkness falls early.

It's been a busy month. My little brother got married, and Pearl was a flower girl alongside her cousin. Belly dancing classes started up again so I've been enjoying an increase in exercise and girly time. My second-trimester belly is growing, rounding, poking out the bottom of regular-sized shirts - time to pack them away for awhile. That's not the only thing being packed... tomorrow we get the keys to a new place, and this weekend we move in. So our household has been a whirlwind of cleaning, purging, packing, and all the other things that need to be done before one moves.

I'm excited about the new place but so ready for moving to be over. Pearl will be moving into her own bedroom when we go so we've been preparing her for that change. She seems to be taking to the idea well, but we'll see how it goes in reality. She already falls asleep in the room alone and usually sleeps through the night until the early morning hours when she crawls to my bed and snuggles up with me, sometimes sleeping longer and sometimes not. I may very well have a harder time adjusting than she does.

Eleven Weeks

Ending my long absence here to say that we are expecting someone new in mid-March, 2009:



This morning we had a quick ultrasound with our CNM that showed this little baby, heart beating along strongly - wonderful sight to see. It makes it seem a lot more real and it is very reassuring to know that things are progressing well.

Thirty-Two Months Old

Thirty-two months old sounds awfully close to thirty-six months old - hard to believe I'll soon have a three-year-old on my hands!



The world is a big, fun place for Pearl right now! She loves pushing the little toddler-size shopping carts at the local natural foods coop, but is understanding and willing to ride in the cart when I need to get more than a few items. She enjoys walking to the park that is a few blocks away from this new house, though she hates the wind, and being winter there's a lot of cold gusts blowing. Every ride in the car is a study and report of traffic lights and vehicles, every visit with family a delight that should never end, every trip to the library a procession of wonderful books to read - still Pearl's favorite thing to do.



Her play is both more imaginative and more imitative. She feeds and bathes her toys and dolls, and acts out situations she remembers from stories and videos and real life. The corners of the piece of bread she's eating become kangaroos, and she hops them around her plate. I do not tell her not to play with her food.

Pearl enjoys working in the kitchen with me and playing alongside as I cook. This month she's been very into playing with jars and lids of various sizes, and shaking out spices at my direction. One of her aunts got us some kits of growing herbs indoors and Pearl helped me plant the seeds and check for sprouts every day. She was very excited to see the seedlings and prompts me to 'check the plants' each morning.

We set out a bird feeder this month too, and after telling her that we'd have to wait for the birds to find it, she was thrilled when they did and enjoys watching them when they visit it.



Because of the dry winter air, I've been putting lotion on Pearl's skin after she bathes. In doing so we have discovered that her toes are very ticklish, or, as she says, "Your toes are so tickly!" She will grab them herself then chortle and shriek.



Throughout the month, she has been roughly alternating between days where she takes a long nap in the afternoon and goes to bed late, and days where she is up from 8 until 8 with no nap. She went through a similar pattern when she switched from two naps to one, so I suspect that her napping days are coming to an end for real.

However, her father and I have noticed that she sleeps a lot more solidly through the night when she does have a nap, so in order to get her to bed at a reasonable time I've been waking her after a while. I would've tried this sooner, but she used to be a crying, whiny mess if I didn't let her nap as long as she wanted. She is far more receptive me waking her up lately though, so it is working out okay.

Something amazing happened this month concerning bedtime - two nights in a row, after I nursed her I told her to stay in her bed and go to sleep while I went in to the living room, and that I'd come to bed soon - and she did! Of course the third night this was a no-go as she was coming down with a cold, and then she was sick, and then I got sick... but it was still amazing. I always knew the day would come when I would be able to say "Goodnight," and leave the room and she'd fall asleep on her own, but I guess you can never really know how such an event will go down until it happens.

2007

Here is last year's list of resolutions and the like - let's see what I accomplished!

Green means the goal was accomplished, Orange means it's one I partially did or am still working on, and Reds are the ones I fell flat on my face over, and/or I'm abandoning.

* Create a mixed vegetable-herb-flower garden that is beautiful as well as functional: Perhaps it wasn't as beautiful and functional a garden as I would've liked, but it was a pretty good garden! A garden is a very rewarding project.
* Be kinder and more patient: worked on it. Still working on it.
* Eat less sweets: not even close on this one. Oops.
* Learn more about nutrition and put what I learn into practice: Yes! I read and experimented lots and while I still have more to learn, I feel I have done pretty well in coming up with a healthy, ethical, and somewhat frugal diet for my family.
* Add lunches to the meal plan so that Pearl and I always have something yummy and healthy to eat in the middle of the day: Nope. Really should do this.
* Be more diligent about reading nonfiction: I read a few books.
* Keep the house cleaner: Hmmmm... maybe? I guess not noticeably so.
* Breathe deeply: Some. Need to remember this more.
* Learn to felt: No.
* Go through my bazillion digital photographs and get rid of the cruddy ones: Did a bit, need to do more.
* Learn to knit: No.
* Get more bookshelves: Yes! Mr. Peach bartered his computer skills for someone 's carpentry skills, and we now have one handmade by friends.
* Frame and hang more pictures: Yes.
* Install a cat door: No, and there's no need anymore.
* Make a quilt for our bed: No. Would still like to.
* Set up Pearl's room: I want to say yes, as the second bedroom in this place has been somewhat set up as her playroom... but even it isn't complete, so no.
* Start moving Pearl into her own bed: Yes! She sleeps in her own bed right next to ours, but I still sleep in it with her half the time at least...
* Make my own greeting cards - enlist Pearl's help on some! Nope. I still hope to this year.
* Do yoga: no.
* Learn to batik: No, though I did buy the supplies.
* Start composting: Yes! Didn't get to enjoy the boost it gave my garden in the next season because we moved, but it was awesome to not just throw stuff out.
* Write more: Not as much as I'd like. In fact, I'm pretty sure I wrote less.
* Learn more about my camera and photography: some.
* Go camping: Yes! We went a few times and it was great.
* Take Pearl to a nearby big aquarium: Yes! That was fun.
* Bake my own bread: I made some banana bread a couple of times...
* Attend the UU church, at least once: No, but I still think about it from time to time.
* Finish Pearl's baby book and have it printed & bound: It's so close to being done it's not funny. I need to buckle down and do it.
* Get braces: Yes! Boy, are they a pain, but they've already been worth it.
* Visit my brother-in-law and do some fun stuff in the city he lives in: This one's a bummer as he and his girlfriend broke up and he moved back home before we got around to it! However, we did go there for a concert...
* Plant morning glories along the fence: Yes, and they were lovely.
* Have friends and family over for dinner more often: Not as much as I intended, but some.
* Get out of the house by myself more, and not on errands, just for fun! I took and LOVED belly dancing lessons! Can't wait for the next round.
* Buy only clothes that are comfortable, fit well, and are of good quality... this includes underwear! I hardly bought any clothes at all but I did okay with this one.
* Be more appreciative of my talents: This one's a maybe. It's definitely one worth still working on.
* Research vaccinations and decide what to do about them: Still working on this one.
* Brush up on my espanol. No.
* Find a good family doctor. No.
* Paint. Draw. Not much:(
* Do some volunteer work. No.
* Don't go so long between haircuts that I feel like a total frump: I actually decided to grow long hair for the first time since I was a child. In doing so I have ditched traditional shampoos and conditioners in favor of shampoo bars, cider vinegar, honey, oils.... and I have learned that my hair is not straight, as it used to be, but wavy and sometimes curly! I love it. I do, however, need a trim.
* Get dinner at least partially prepared during the day so I can spend more time in the evening with my husband and daughter: Did okay with this one... need to renew my efforts.
* Remember that all I'm assured of ever getting is this moment. This is a perpetual goal, surely.

Thirty-One Months Old

Pearl has been very physically active this month. She runs faster and steadier, and bravely jumps from one piece of furniture to another. Her jumping on the bed approaches acrobatics and all this combined with hard floors in the new house has led to several bumps and bruises.

She's also sustained several scratches from pushing our cats to their limit - but it is nice to see her with other people's kitties as she tries to be very gentle and nice with them.



She enjoys doing some household chores like putting the dishes away and sorting laundry. I can get her to help me pick up her toys if I entice her with a game of counting them as she puts them back in their place.

Pottying is great - I can only think of one time in the past few weeks that she's peed in her pants at home, I'm sure she's had wet diapers out and about but we've been taking the potty along with us to places and have had success getting her to go at other people's houses, so that is pretty neat! Still working on pooping...

Christmas with Pearl was a lot of fun this year as this is the first time she's gotten the whole presents thing. I didn't have a whole lot of seasonal spirit going on this year and didn't do much beyond hanging the stockings, buying a bouquet of local evergreens, and taking Pearl to see the lights on the town square - along with buying some nice presents for her and Mr. Peach, and sewing/embroidering a Christmas dress for Pearl and cooking glorious mountains of fudge and toffee for all our loved ones.



I told her all about presents as she went with us to buy and then wrap a gift for her cousin the day before Christmas Eve, and she found it very exciting and just couldn't wait so she got started with her cousin's present! We explained again that that one wasn't for her, but that she would get to open some presents very soon. She kept saying, "There will be presents for me, too!"



I made an effort not to go overboard with presents and thought I did quite well but between what everyone else got her, she was tired of opening presents on Christmas morning and refused to open the last two we'd gotten her, so she opened those at Grandma's later on. For a few days afterwards, she said, "Merry Christmas!" a lot and enjoyed playing with boxes as if opening presents.

One of the gifts we got her was a boxed set of classic Winnie the Pooh by A. A. Milne. It is one book broken up into little books by chapter. They are a bit much for her at this point but she sure loves taking them out of their box and putting them back in, quoting their titles, lining them up, etc.



Pearl still loves to read! She recites entire books, and every morning after we get out of bed (at the blissful time of around 8! I used to think she'd never sleep that late.) she sits in the big chair or on the couch with a quilt and a big stack of books while I wake up and start fixing our breakfast.




She is nursing less these days, and I say that with great relief. She's down to about three times a day, more if she's bored. Going to sleep and waking up still always include milkies and that's okay for now. She's eating a lot and must be growing like a weed - her arms and legs recently shot out of all her clothes and now we're buying (& soon making!) her some new 3t clothes.

She is generally easy going and cheerful, though there have definitely been some very two-and-a-half moments here and there. Even so I am so often amazed at how well she handles things, how quickly she learns, and in general how bright and beautiful she is.

Stomach Bug

Yesterday I thought Pearl seemed a little off throughout the day and wondered if she might be getting sick. In the late afternoon after a little coughing and gagging, and a concerned question from me, she ran and hugged my legs and as I leaned down to return this toddler hug she started puking all over the both of us. I put my hand out to catch it -she was already throwing up, so I found this a strange instinctive movement to make- and was met with a warm cascade of apple chunks, black bean soup, and chickpeas.

(I think motherhood has warped my senses a wee bit, as I found myself noticing how tiny and cute her little bites of apple were.)

So, we had a Friday evening filled with trying to get the poor girl to puke somewhere that wasn't carpeted or upholstered, a location that involved my person five out of six times. A three shower day. A labyrinth of dirty clothes, clean clothes, washrags, and the laundry room. A midnight change of bedding.

She's sleeping again now, which is good. She doesn't seem to be throwing up as frequently if she's sleeping, so maybe that means she's able to digest some breastmilk then. So far she hasn't been able the keep anything she's eaten since noon yesterday down.

***

She hasn't thrown up in about six hours, so I'm hoping she's through the worst of it now!

Here We Go Again!

One week from today, we're moving! We've been halfheartedly searching for a new place for a while, and when the weather turned colder (before the last time it changed its mind and got warmer again) we faced the reality of the impending heating costs and stepped up the search.

We found an okay apartment that we were about to settle for when we found a much better place instead - downstairs, we could bring all the appliances we bought when we moved to this house, and a yard - but a few days after we put down a deposit I noticed where some water damage had spawned some nasty black mold in the closets and big bedroom. I did not like to think of my family breathing that in as we slept, didn't like the idea of the trouble it would take to get rid of it, and the landlady was in denial about it, so! We got our deposit back, and despondently began looking again.

We were looking to move into an apartment to save on energy costs but I called about a house with rent lower than this one's anyway, because we weren't having much luck. I'm glad I did because this house is really cute. It is small, bright and sunshiny, and it has a nice open floor plan. The kitchen has a south-facing garden window, which just tickles me to death. I've always wanted one, and I'm looking forward to growing herbs inside this winter. It has a wee little loft, which is fun - I am sure Pearl will think it is the best thing ever to have stair in her own house! We can take our beloved fridge and washer and dryer, and it has a nice deck and fenced in backyard, so we'll have some outside space of our own. It's close to Mr. Peach's work, and closer than we were to the library and grocery stores and parks.

So I am quite excited and relieved to have found this place. The next week (and then some I'm sure) will be a flurry of packing and uprooting and resettling, with a lot of turkey, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie and family visits thrown in.

Hope everyone has a lovely Thanksgiving!

Projects Completed: Kimono & Corduroys

I finished this outfit and photographed it a few weeks ago:



Though I am love Asian-inspired things and the floral fabric print (which is appropriately from Japan), I'm not crazy about this top. Maybe it's a tad too big for Pearl, or maybe the fabric is just too stiff... I just don't love it.



And the pants.... oh, those pants! I got them done, seams finished, hemmed perfectly... and I was trimming the seams down with my rotary cutter I got a bit cocky and careless and sliced right through the pants leg. I literally cried, as I didn't have enough corduroy left to make another, and, being somewhat poor, can't just rush out and buy more. So I had to undo the him, the inner leg seam, patch the slices and add side pockets to cover the damage, reseam, rehem, etc. They're done now though, so, hooray.

Thoughts from the Past Week

• My sister is pregnant with her second child! Since she was pregnant with her first while I was pregnant with Pearl and we constantly compared notes and chatted about it all, it seems strange for her to be pregnant and me not. I am excited about being able to focus on the Aunt part this time around.

• I had a marvelously fabulous time with friends and my husband at the Cloud Cult concert, which in itself was completely awesome. We got all tipsy at a fancy nightclub and got to chat with the band before and after dancing and singing along with our favorite songs. Pearl had fun with her Grandma and the rest, too. Everything went a little more smoothly this time around for them, though she missed us, and us her.

• Mr. Peach & I's wedding =anniversary is coming up - we will have been married three, and together five. It seems weird, having been married for the greater part of our relationship.

• Sitting alone in the dark on this night as the Autumn Equinox approaches, I am excited and looking forward to the changes coming: cozy clothes and a change in the seasonal menu, slow-baked food and warm soups... getting outside more and watching the leaves change colors.

• I have started taking belly dancing classes and am really enjoying them. I am finding it very challenging, having never really done anything that requires coordination and athletic ability.

• I'm looking forward to seeing a movie with my husband. Usually I'd much rather watch a movie at home but occasionally one will come out that I don't want to wait around for the dvd release of and so we hit the theaters. We love Wes Anderson movies.
  

First of the Autumn Sewing

I started on sewing some clothes for early Autumn a few weeks ago, looking forward to the change of seasons.

And now cooler weather has arrived: clear bright days mixed in with cool rainy ones, and nights that are already chilly.

First I made Pearl this tiered skirt out of a dark red floral fine wale corduroy that I found on clearance at Hobby Lobby for $2 a yard - can't beat that!

Then I made her an autumn-hued patchwork twirly skirt - same way I made this dress a few months ago. It's made from bold & bright cotton prints with a few patches of soft brown corduroy from an old skirt of mine thrown in.



I used the same fabrics on the owl applique I put on an organic cotton tee (I used the corduroy on his wings and head, and he has two big wooden button eyes). It was my first time to do applique and I am quite proud of how it turned out. And Pearl loves it!

And I am proud to announce that I made something wearable for myself! It is a tiered skirt made from brown, fine wale corduroy. I followed a tutorial I found online and have since lost that conveniently fit my own measurements, plus a few little embellishments like the extra ruffle at the bottom.



You can't tell from these photos, or in some lights, but I totally goofed up and put a few pieces of the skirt together with the nap going in the opposite directions... but by the time I realized this, the dress had already been topstitched and the seams finished, so I said, oh well!





More Autumn projects to show coming up, as I finish them!

First Night Apart: A Success.

Pearl's first night away from me went well! She didn't go to bed until midnight (the same time Mr. Peach and I hit the sack in a bed and breakfast a few miles up the road) and my mom had to put on a 5am showing of My Neighbor Totoro to keep her happy and get her back to sleep, and when she woke again at 8:30 she called out for me but then started reading books and was fine.

We stayed at a cabin rather than going back home after dropping her off last night so that we would be closer to my parents' house if she wasn't handling it well and needed us, and so that was a nice little change for us. It was strange (but good) to not have to keep eyes and ears attuned to a toddler or the baby monitor, and boy was it nice not having to go through the bedtime/sleep shenanigans.

And though I cried a little when I packed her bag and I thought my heart would break when we left her playing happily with my mom, I did okay as long as I was occupied... though I must admit I got tearful sitting out on the back porch swing alone while Mr. Peach showered and I realized I was rocking out there by myself when usually at that time of night, I would be rocking Pearl to sleep...

And goodness, were my breasts overly full of milk in the morning! Ouch. I nursed her as soon as we were reunited after being served a nice breakfast.

Now, she is taking a good nap recovering from her rather sleepless but thankfully not traumatic night, and I am relieved that it went well and extremely happy and excited to be finalizing the plans for our concert trip.

One Day/One Week

The sky is temperamental today; doesn't know whether to be gloomy and overcast or giddy with sunshine. It happens to be quite an appropriate representation of how I am feeling today.

Tomorrow, Pearl will be spending her first night away from us. She is going to stay the night at my mom's as a test run before we go see a Cloud Cult concert three hours away next Thursday.

I know my mom (and my dad and my siblings) will take good care of Pearl, and do everything in their power to keep Pearl happy. But, oh, am I nervous. I think she'll be fine during the awake hours; it's night time I'm worried about. She still sleeps with us and some nights she wakes a lot, and usually wants to nurse. So I can't help thinking, what if she needs me, and I'm not there?

I've talked about it with her a lot throughout the week and she is excited to be going to sleep with Grandma and her Aunt, but less responsive about other parts of it... it's hard for me to know how much she understands.

I think it will be okay. I think it will be fun for her. I didn't think I'd want to leave her overnight so soon, but then this opportunity came up... and so hopefully this will go well, because I am really looking forward to this concert.

Twenty-Seven Months Old

Pearl is twenty-seven months old now and cute as can be! We've been having lots of fun lately.



She is playing with her toys in new ways, putting various dolls and animals through many of the things she herself does each day, and describes it all as she makes it happen: "Baby is sleeping!" "Pig is drinking; the pig is so thirsty!" and so on.

Pearl enjoys watching nature videos and has picked up a few quotes that she likes. It amuses me greatly to hear her announce as she descends from wherever she is perched, "It's safe to come down and gather food."



She had her first bad stomach bug during the first half of this month... a fever and runny nose, accompanied by diarrhea. We almost took her to see a doctor after a week of it, but the research I'd done and my instincts told me it wasn't anything to be worried about and I'm glad we didn't, because it cleared up in a few more days. Still, it was less than fun for all involved.

After a nice stretch of easy bedtimes and restful naps, getting her to sleep is taking a lot of time and effort again... Always, the ups and downs. She has upper molars coming in now, which has something to do with it I'm sure.

She still feels the urge to lash out when she is angry or upset (so different from her mama, who tends to hold her hurts close - Pearl's way is healthier, no doubt.) but has learned to refrain from hitting for the most part; she instead swings her arms at her sides and mutters, "No hitting," or sometimes, "So angry." There's been some headbutting and biting too, but we're dealing with it and trying to help her find alternate ways of expressing her negative emotions.

She likes to "do faces": I'll say, "Show me your x face," and she'll make the appropriate face . Interestingly, her responses to being asked to show happy expressions tend to include bouncing up and down, and interpretations of negative emotions include leaning back and sticking her big belly out.

This month I went out by myself after putting Pearl to sleep for the night. I went to a party and had a wonderful time, but had to come back to a very upset baby and a very unsettled Daddy. I hadn't really prepared her in any way because I didn't think she'd wake before I returned - so of course she did, and was extremely unhappy that I wasn't there. She went right back to sleep as I nursed her and didn't show any signs of having suffered from it the next day or afterwards, so hopefully it wasn't too traumatic.



It was so nice to get out and have some grown-up fun by myself; it makes being at home with the most beautiful and amazing thing at the world even more wonderful.

Stagnant

Stagnant is the word that best sums up how it feels to be me these days. Nothing new flows in, nothing flows out, and all is murky and sluggish.

The house is quite a mess, clutter piling up wherever it can, and dust accumulates along with it. I both see the disorder and don't see it: it uses its chaos as camouflage. Making myself actually look at it and see what is there - let alone do something about it - takes some form of energy or discipline I can't seem to muster up lately.

I want to write more but it is hard to find uninterrupted time, time alone. Naptime and its accompanying quiet invite me to do so many other things, both frivolous and the important. It feels good just to have typed out what I have so far.

We are thinking of moving again. Not out of town, just to a different house. We had planned to stay here until we are ready to buy/build a home but, having lived here for over a year now we've learned that there are reasons than isn't practical or desirable (large populations of brown recluses, anyone? For the past few weeks I have been coming across & killing one almost daily... the other day while I was sewing I looked down and there was one crawling on my pants. Have had enough of that. Am desperately hoping we do not bring them with us when/if we move.)

So, this feels like a time of stillness. A time of waiting... waiting for the oppressive August heat to break, for the gentle warm days of September in the Ozarks. Watching the classified ads, waiting for a suitable home to open up. Waiting for a belly dancing class and possibly a yoga class to start - I am hoping that getting out of the house and doing these things will be the something new flowing in that will shake me out of this stagnant state.

Heavenly Blue

Back in the springtime, I planted many morning glory and moonflower seeds along the chain link fences on each side of our yard in the hope that they would flourish and block out the view of the neighbor's junk with something prettier, and provide a little more privacy.

What the blackberry frost didn't kill, the well-meaning elderly lady next door finished off with a liberal spraying of RoundUp intended for poison ivy. Still, a few of each species survived and we've been enjoying them for the past week or two. Pearl likes to walk out there with me to touch and gaze at and sniff them... today I sent her over there to look at them on her own as I hung laundry to dry on far side of the yard only to have her erupt into tears, running back to me saying, "There's a BUG in the flower!" And indeed, there was a bee, and alas, she only tolerates bugs when she is in the best of moods.

Cottage Roses Twirly Patchwork Dress

I completed a project this week - a dress for Pearl (because I really just haven't sewn her enough dresses for her this Spring & Summer... I can't help myself, I enjoy it so much!) inspired by and made using this tutorial.







I fell in love with a line of fabric Hancock Fabrics carried over the summer called "Cottage Roses", assorted florals and coordinating material in cream and pink and blue and green. I bought some of the pink and blue to make Pearl a birthday dress with because she has always been a rosy little thing who looks good in those colors. I picked up some more pinks and greens to make her this patchwork dress and added in what was left of the birthday dress prints.

I managed to sew this dress without having to rip endless seams and make tons of revisions like I did the birthday dress. It was the first dress I attempted to make up without a pattern or tutorial, just drawing from my limited experience and patterns I already had I made a lot of mistakes along the way - it took me four tries to work out a bodice that fit - and the end product, while pretty, doesn't hang very well. The bodice actually does. It's the skirt I take issue with.

Anyway, I got the bodice on the patchwork skirt right the first time with no problems and only had to go back and redo one thing - I originally had a shorter row of patchwork right beneath the bodice but it wasn't gathered and the rest of the tiers are and it really bothered me so I took it out. Also, it is really hard to tie knots on the the shoulders of a two-year-old, but it won't come off or go on while tied!

Reunion

After an embarrassing amount of agonizing over whether or not I wanted to go to my five year high school reunion, I decided to go at the last minute. And it wasn't horrible at all! Not many people showed up - only about fifteen out of fifty or so. It was fun to see how those people had changed, though, and to see my change reflected in their reactions to me. Pearl had fun playing with the other young children there, and it was neat to see her playing with the children of those who were children with me.

I only had one conversation about the college education I didn't complete (I was kind of cringingly prepared for that, having been known as The Extremely Smart Girl, voted Most Likely to Succeed, graduating as Salutatorian, full scholarship, etc etc.)

And I was only asked once about my ex-husband, who was my boyfriend all throughout high school, and I told the pertinent details without even being tempted to slander him, or even tell the whole truth which would've been damning enough.

The reunion took place in the high school cafeteria, the walls of which are covered in portraits of each graduating class. I got to see my face and those of my friends hanging among all those I'd looked at over the years growing up. Passing through the door, a face caught my eye and stopped me in my tracks - his, my ex's, back when he was young and our relationship was still mostly good, before it got mired in untruth and unkindness, before violence and manipulation. Before the pregnancy, the subsequent abortion.

I threw out all of the pictures I had of him when I left him, save a few favorites I saved just in case I wanted them later - and a few months later I decided I definitely did not. I know my mother has some of us somewhere, and I have seen more recent pictures of him, but this was the first time in a long while that I'd seen his face the way it looked when we were young and happy. It made me miss that long-gone version of him.

I am quite proud of myself for going. I've been feeling very reclusive lately... I think I must have a bit of social anxiety or some chemical imbalance going on still or something. But I went, and I looked nice and I interacted with everyone well and hardly felt nervous at all! That's probably a lot more than I would've been able to say about such a gathering five years ago.

Camping = Superfun

I am happy to say that our camping trip was enormously successful! We all had a great time. The campground was lovely and we got a great site - one of three in a little clearing in the trees right next to a deep swimming hole on the river, below tall bluffs. We managed to have that little area to ourselves for the duration of our stay except for some people wandering through to the swimming hole... which unfortunately included a group of about eight young boys who came through after dark the first night and again at just past 6am the next morning. Six. In the morning. Which is indeed outside of the posted quiet hours but that wasn't much consolation when they woke us up.

Pearl, of course, was entranced by all the trees and dirt and rocks and water around us, along with her first flashlight! She was content for the most part to sit in a chair and read or munch on some crackers while we worked at setting up and preparing food, and she understood about the fire being hot and stayed back. Bedtime the first night was rough as we were very busy and it got late far quicker than we realized and so she was not a happy camper... literally. But she slept fairly well and I made sure I got her to sleep at a more reasonable hour the next night.

It was beautiful in our little clearing after the sun went down. There were a few clouds but not enough to completely obscure the stars or the moon, which was huge and bright. The moon didn't climb high enough to shine directly down in the clearing before we went to bed, but it shone through the trees and reflected off the bluffs above the river and made them glow.

The next day we hiked for a little while... not quite as far as I would've liked but we were all pretty tired so that was okay. We got to cross the river a few times and we stopped across from some bluffs and snacked while Pearl played on the rocks and frogs' calls echoed across the river.



We got some swimming in, too. The water there is so clear and clean. Pearl has really enjoyed being in the water this summer: splashing, and floating forwards and backwards while I hold her chest, putting her face in the water and on this trip throwing stones in and hearing their plonk-and-splash for the first time.

I had a lot of fun planning and preparing our camping fare: Sesame Lime Tofu with Mushrooms and Zucchini (the latter from my garden!) for dinner the first night, then Cranberry Pecan Chocolate Chip Oat Muffins and then bacon for breakfast the next morning. For lunch we drove about thirty miles to a wonderful bakery called Neighbor's Mill that we've been to once before and we had turkey avocado sandwiches. We also picked up some absolutely divine sticky buns - sweet cinnamon rolls covered and a sweet buttery pecan sauce, and a loaf of honey-wheat bread to use as hot dog buns for supper that night as I didn't get any beforehand. We also stopped and got some charcoal and a chimney to start it with to make creating a cooking fire easier and more of sure thing.

The charcoal and the chimney did the trick and Mr. Peach started up a fire that lasted even through the rain that started as I was laying Pearl down to sleep that night. It rained for a bit then let up, allowing us some dry time by the campfire so that we could giggle and talk and roast bananas in foil, split down the middle and filled with chocolate chips.

However the rain started again strongly in the night and was still coming down hard the next morning. Thankfully everything was pretty much either in the car or in the tent, so I stayed inside with Pearl and got everything ready to go and Mr. Peach ran it all up to the car with a little protection from an umbrella. We dried off and dressed in clean clothes at the bathrooms (which had flush toilets and sinks and mirrors - what a luxury when camping! Often it's just a vault toilet. I'm still weighing whether I think those conveniences are worth the larger crowds they draw - when I camp I want to enjoy nature, not hang out twenty feet away from strangers, grumpy old hermit that I am.) then ate our sticky buns in the car and headed home!

I can't wait to go again!

Here is a slideshow containing all the photos from the trip.

Twenty-Five Months Old

Pearl is twenty-five months old now and I am happy to say that this month has been a lot easier than the last. She even gave up on shrieking to convey her displeasure at things... for a few weeks. She has resumed that practice over the past few days, unfortunately.



She has also been somewhat violent in her anger lately, wanting to hit me or sometimes she'll slap at her face. I wasn't really prepared for that, I just tell her not to hit Mama and tell her to whack the couch or the pillow instead. She complies and it seems to work well as a way to vent her irritation.

She is really beginning to assert her independence lately, too - I am hearing more and more "I awwna do it!" So, yes, she is very much a toddler.



She has been a lot more active physically in general lately, and I am glad as she has sometimes been 'behind' in this respect... at least compared to her same-age cousin. I shouldn't compare them but it's really hard not to. Anyway, she can now jump! And she loves to run - a few nights ago we took her to the park for a walk as it was nearing bedtime and I sensed she still had energy to burn. Instead of walking a third of the loop then asking to "Carry you", she ran a good 3/4 of the whole trail! Mr. Peach and I were so amazed. She repeated the performance again last night, saying, "So fast!" as she went.



She and I took a trip to an artsy place nearby this month where glass bluebirds are made and the grounds are decorated with all sorts of sculptures of fantastical creatures and other fun things. She enjoyed it even more than the first time we took her there - one year ago, coincidentally enough. Along with the statues there are all sorts of fountains there and playing in water is one of her favorite things to do right now!



The statues there must have made a big impression on her. A few days later her father brought some cinnamon rolls home for breakfast and as we were eating them I told her what they were called. She nodded and said, "Cinnamon trolls!"

And then a few days ago we were in the bedroom and she told me that she heard a loud noise. I said, "I think that was a big truck driving by." Pearl paused for a moment, then she replied, "Maybe it was a dragon!"

I love hearing what she has to say, witnessing these early verbal expressions of what is going on in her mind.



In the car, I look in the mirror at her watching the world roll by and I think, "There is nothing like her on this Earth." I love her so much!