Cousins

There are lots of things I could and even kind of want to write about today's trip to my mom's house, but my mind is kind of in a weird place so I will just summarize by saying that having a baby the same age as my sister's daughter is an amazing thing, and I am glad that we are entering and experiencing motherhood in so nearly a simultaneous way.

Four Months Old

It sure is wonderful to have a four month old in the house! I guess I've adjusted to the fact that I have a baby pretty well. I've only been startled by her existence once - she was about three weeks old and Mr. Peach had just gone back to work and I was picking up around the house... I walked into the living room and there was a baby asleep on the couch! It was quite a surprise for some reason.

This month has been a whirlwind. It seems that her development proceeds exponentially, a bigger explosion of new things happening every time I turn around. Just as I get used to one rhythm Pearl shakes things up and I work to adjust to the new beat of our days.



She is a master roller. The first part of this month she was flipping over like crazy as soon as I'd put her down, then she took a break, and this week she was picked it back up again, sometimes continuing from rolling to her front right on to her back again. She's done several variations of the tummy time pose, including pushing way up with her arms, trying to get her knees beneath her, and planting her face on the ground and sticking her butt up in the air. She looks so pleased after rolling over - usually. Sometimes it makes her mad, but I think those are times when she's cranky and anything would make her mad.

She has begun crying when I take away whatever she's playing with - her seahorse, a book, my hand. Once it's out of her sight because she drops it or I move it away she begans to wail. I think this is because the toys are distracting her from other things, like being tired or hungry, but she stops crying as soon as I give them back, so I don't know, maybe she is actually crying over the loss of the object itself. Either way, she is certainly more prone to this behavior when she is worn out.

Pearl has shown a preference for being in my arms for a while now but this month she's taken it to a new level by crying when she's in someone else's, excepting her daddy of course. This makes taking her to the inlaw's a bit hard for me as of course they want to hold her, but she doesn't want to be held by them. So I let her grandma hold her for a while, then Pearl's face just crumples up and I take her back.

She has learned how to chomp on her own hands so well that she would rather chomp her than mine... which doesn't make me as happy as I thought it would. I guess I'll have to get used to being sad about her independence at the same time I celebrate it, seeing as how it's only going to increase and all. Anyway, it's pretty cute to see her try to cram all ten fingers in her mouth.



This month has been the month of the laugh; like her first smiles, her first laughs aren't easy to get out of her. She finds different things funny at different times - laying on Mama's belly, getting kisses on her tummy, and Daddy's funny faces are all things that have the potential to bring a giggle.

Shortly after learning how to make smacking sounds with her lips Pearl learned how to make burbly sounds, blowing air through bubble-filled lips. She will combine those two sounds with a stream of 'hoo'ing sounds and go on and on.

She's using her hands now to explore our faces, grabbing our noses and patting our cheeks and tugging on Daddy's beard. She also yanks on my hair quite a bit which isn't so endearing. But overall it is great to see her stare at things with such fascination and be able to use her hands to learn about them. She gets such a cute look of concentration on her face; as my mom said, "She has the best intent look of any baby I've ever seen!"



Pearl loves her Daddy; it is so sweet to see her reaction to him. When he comes home she will stare at him like he is the most amazing thing she's ever seen and then burst into a huge smile. And naturally he loves her to pieces too, he says sometimes she's just so cute he can't stand it! We are so happy to have her in our family, she has increased the amount of love and joy around here to dizzying levels.

And she's only been around for four months. I can't wait to see how much better it gets.

Toy Time

She's becoming so coordinated and agile... following her toy wherever she bats it and rolling around with it.

A Year Ago Today

I found out I was pregnant a year ago today. Pearl was just a tiny ball of cells then, busy getting settled into my womb, making me feel tired and out of sorts. It's incredibly amazing to think of that and then look at her now.

Here is the post from an older incarnation of my blog:

That's right, I'm pregnant!

I took the pictured test Saturday, as I was suspicious. I'd been very tired, my nipples were very sensitive, and I had a day of cramping followed by no period.

And sure enough, I'm pregnant.

I was worried about breaking the news to Mr. Peach, but needlessly as it turns out. He wasn't even surprised; said he already knew! I asked if he'd found the test and he said no, he just knew...

And he's excited and happy about it! It is so wonderful, having his enthusiasm to match mine. We're going to have a baby!

I'm still somewhat in disbelief. Yesterday after I took the test I kept getting it out and staring at it, making sure I hadn't imagined it. I have this vague, hovering idea too that in a few days, somehow things will be normal again, I won't be pregnant... but then I remind myself that I have no period, and of the symptoms, and of the postive HPT and wake myself up a little. I am pregnant!

And after I've come back to reality I start to worry that something is going to go wrong. I am terrified of a miscarriage. I can't even talk about how terrified I am and what it would do to me. Mr. Peach tells me not to worry because if something is going to happen there's nothing that I can do about it anyhow, so just relax.. so I'm trying. Trying to enjoy it and not be scared. Have faith in my body. This is what it was made to do, after all.

And my body did well. I have a wonderful, healthy baby girl, born naturally with no complications. Amazing.

Best EC Day Yet!

Only one wet diaper yesterday; the rest were in the potty!

Guess What I Killed Today?

Another brown recluse! How fun and exciting it is to have venomous spiders in your house! Not just in the kitchen, but in the spare bedroom too, beneath the laundry basket! The room that is full of piles of clothing waiting for me to sort them!

At least this one was smaller.

After Much Screaming...

...I have decided that there was in fact milk in at least one of the two cakes I ate pieces of last night. Which sucks not only because my baby's in pain again, but because I bought some goat cheese and was wanting to try that on pizza. Of course I can't do that when she's experiencing the effects of cow's milk, since those will mask any the goat's milk might have and I won't be able to tell if I can eat it. Hopefully we'll get through this before the goat's cheese spoils.

Cake = milk = bad. Must remember that.

Such a Good Baby

Yesterday was my brother-in-law Geoff's birthday. We headed across the yard to my in-laws' house for the cake and gift-giving. Pearl was a good little baby, quietly taking it all in with the most intent look on her face. She even let my mother-in-law hold her for a good while before she wanted me again.

After that Geoff and his girlfriend invited us over to her apartment to watch the premiere of Lost. I was a bit wary about taking Pearl somewhere so late in the evening but she offered her bedroom for us to retire to if Pearl got upset, so we grabbed all of the possibly needed baby gear and headed out.

It was a perfectly timed expedition. Pearl slept on the car ride there, ate when we arrived, and played in my lap happily until the last commercial break. She was pronounced very cute by a couple of Geoff's friends whom I hadn't seen in a long while. Me and Mr. Peach and Geoff all used to live together in an apartment so I used to see a whole lot of them!

I tried to feed her when she first got fussy but she wanted none of it, so when the show was over we headed home... to the soundtrack of Pearl wailing. We pulled over and then she ate, so I figured that was all she wanted, but nope. The crying continued once we were on the road again, the poor little thing. It wasn't just fussing, it was loud, raw-sounding screams. When I hear those screams I immediately think, "Uh-oh, what did I eat?" I was worried that one of the two cakes I had eaten had milk in them, I hadn't even thought to ask, but I think she was just tired and overwhelmed, as when we pulled over a second time she was fine - though very obviously exhausted - in my arms, but started crying again as soon as I set her back in her carseat. I cannot bear to hear her cry like that, but what can you do? We had to get home, and I much prefer a screaming baby to one injured in a car accident, so back into the carseat she went. Poor baby. She stopped crying a few times, but then was glurpy and would start back up again. Her reflux has been pretty bad the last few days.

Once we got home and got settled in bed she was fine. That was our first purely social visit away from home in the evening and she was so easygoing throughout it; I feel bad that she had to suffer the ride home like that.

Lesson Learned

Do not use the last of your disposable baby wipes at home, for if you do, your baby will poop on the way to the store to buy more and then you will be in big, messy, stinky trouble.

It's been such a long time since Pearl pooped without me being aware of it that when we arrived in town and I stuck my finger under her diaper cover to see if she was wet, I sat there for a minute wondering, "Why is her diaper slimy?"

Baby's First Sound

Pearl has been talkative right from the start - in the hospital we called her a little squeaker. But yesterday she made her first noise without the use of her vocal cords, a little smacking sound, a kiss without the pucker. She was doing it all day, very cute. I can't wait until she starts the tongue clucking and raspberries. Fun times ahead.

A little update on our elimination communication progress: it's going well. Better on days when we sit tight; naturally running around town throws her off. I am not yet brave enough to attempt it in public restrooms and though I have brought her little potty along and tried to get her to go in the car, she never has. Once she did, being held over a diaper, but that was it. And on days we go into town we are often out of sync well after we get home, too, but not always. Depends on how stressful the trip was on us, I guess. However, when we leave the house to go to one place she does splendidly. Last week at my sister's she was in the same diaper from the time we left our house until the time we arrived home - from about 10am to 5pm. I didn't miss a single pee. She was in the same diaper all the while the visit before that too, maybe one wet diaper, I can't recall. I think we do so well there because I don't have anything to do but hold and pay attention to her, and talk with my family. I don't get distracted from her cues by housework, preparing food, etc like I do here at home. I'd say that on a normal day here around the house she has about four wet diapers and goes the rest of the time in the potty. Poopies, well, for the past few days we've been doing well but before that it was a half in the diaper, half in the potty sort of thing, as I wouldn't realize she need to poop until she was doing pooping, then I'd move her to the potty and she'd finish there.

I don't know that I'm quite ready to attempt ECing at night but something different will have to be done as she's soaking her double stuffed fuzzibunz by early morning, which I think is the reason for the recent bout of 6am wakings. So sometime in the night I'm either going to have to potty her or change her diaper to avoid the wetness waking her.

Too Cute in Her Bear Suit

I picked up a Halloween costume for Pearl while I was buying myself some new clothes (woohoo!) and we tried it out when we got home. Mr. Peach took a couple of photos and they were too cute not to share. There's one more on my flickr page, along with some other new uploads.

Sweetness

It's a chilly day here, and dreary, perfect for spending time cuddling with Pearl. Rain finally came and the weather went from terribly hot and dry to wet and cool... no warm in between that I was looking forward to. Maybe it'll still come, but for right now it just feels like time to huddle beneath a blanket. However groceries need to be purchased, so we'll have to take a break from the snuggling and go into town... again. We made the trip yesterday to visit with family again at my sister's house. My older brother came too, he hadn't seen the babies in a while so that was fun. Pearl was a bit more social this time but she still wasn't to sure about Those Other People and wanted to be held mainly by me. She went in a baby swing for the first time - she laid in it quietly for a while and then slept, had a very good nap that lasted until Kaida screamed through a diaper change and woke her. After how easily she went to sleep in the swing I was feeling the temptation to get one for myself, but we really don't have room in our house for a bunch of baby junk and I reminded myself that she is only going to be this little once, and then I felt better about having to spend a lot of time nursing or bouncing or rocking her to sleep. I'm going to cherish the time I get to be close to her rather than buy a bunch of stuff to make things more convenient. Concurrently, I am going to stress less about the housework. I have the rest of my life to have a clean house and only once to enjoy Pearl's babyhood. So if she needs me to walk her around or entertain her I'm going to do so with a clear mind and not be stressing out about the dishes that need done or the clutter strewn about the house. Those things can wait.

Lately she has been returning my kisses with kisses of her own, mouth opened wide against my cheek when I kiss hers. It is the sweetest, sweetest thing.

My Toes, Her Toes

A House

I try to be happy with what I have, but lately I have really, really been wanting my own house. A house with central heating and air. A house with a dishwasher, a garbage disposal, a real shower. A house with a washer and dryer so I don't have to leave the house any time I want to do laundry, which needs to be done 4x a week. A house where I can paint the walls whatever color I want. A house where it takes more than five steps to get from one end to the other. A house where I could drink the water and wash the baby's toys in the tap water without being worried about possible contaminants from cow feces in the well water, lead in the pipes.

I do feel fortunate that we have this place to live, rent free. If we didn't we would be in a much different situation, one where I undoubtedly would not be able to take care of Pearl full time, and that is what is most important to me, so I am grateful. It's not a hovel by any means... it's a good little house, other than the aforementioned complaints. But I also can't help feeling a little beholden, and that's not really fun.

Mr. Peach has a couple of prospects for new jobs at the university where he works, nothing concrete enough to feel good about, but possible enough to create a tiny bit of shiny, sparkly hope... hope that soon he'll have a job he enjoys more, hope that he'll soon be making enough to be able to afford house payments. That would be really, really nice.

Whew...

Originally uploaded by fuzzypeach.

After a hard day of driving mama bananas, Pearl takes a nap, looking quite angelic as she does so. The past couple of days she has been happy only for ten minutes after waking and eating, then the crankiness begins.

Also, she doesn't like anyone to hold her other than me and her daddy lately. We went to my sister's house yesterday and had a visit with my mom and she didn't like being handed off to them! (There are some cute pictures of the visit on my flickr page.) She did enjoy the hot tub, however, and it was awesome to see her little feet kicking in the water as if she would swim away...

On Wednesday my husband and I went to a local Thai restaurant and after looking around uncertainly for a few minutes, taking in the bright colors and the strange music and foreign smells, Pearl's face crumpled and she started to wail, because she was afraid I think. Too many new things! She's more aware these days and she can see better and farther, and she's learning that her world is bigger than she thought...

By the way, thanks for the advice and kind words regarding my frumpiness. I haven't done anything about it - yet. But I will soon, starting with taking a shower as soon as my husband gets home!

Grabbing Her Toes

Grabbing Her Toes
Originally uploaded by fuzzypeach.

Frump, Frump, Frump

I have never felt more unattractive in my life. My skin looks horrible. My teeth are insanely crooked. That's nothing new; I have always needed braces in a bad way but my parents couldn't afford them. They had six kids, one income, and for some stretches didn't have dental insurance. That's one of the promises I've made to myself concerning Pearl - I don't care if I have to get a sucky job for that express purpose, if her teeth are crooked she is getting whatever work she needs done. I don't want her growing up hating her smile. Maybe we can get braces together.

I haven't had a haircut in nearly a year - I usually get a cute shorter haircut, then after a while I decide I want to grow my hair out, but then after eight months or so I look all crappy so I get it all cut off again. This is why I haven't had a haircut in nearly a year. I did manage to grow my bangs out this time but now I think I want sideways bangs again, those were cute.

I'm stretchmarked from my armpits down and though I did bounce back to near normal quickly enough after giving birth, my belly is still quite soggy. While pregnant I envisioned doing lots of walking outdoors with my baby in the sling but I didn't realize how hard it is to get out the door with a baby, or how hot it would be this summer. So there has been only very rare exercise being done around here. None of my prepregnancy clothes fit very well and that doesn't help me look any better.

I need a haircut, I need some new clothes, I need some exercise. I hate feeling so ugly.

Eeek!

Yesterday I was putting dishes away when I spotted a spider about the size of a quarter crouched menacingly beneath the dishdrainer. Spiders are nothing new around here. Our in-laws, former inhabitants and caretakers of this house, advised us to toss a couple of bug bombs into the crawlspace in the springtime to cut down on the creepy crawly population that comes with an old house situated in the country, but we decided that permeating our house with pesticides wasn't a good idea with a fresh new baby on the way. So we live with spiders, kill them if they are very large and/or annoying, but for the most part we coexist in peace.

I saw the monster fangs on this spider, then, peering closer, the fiddle shape on its back. I called to my husband, who was parading around the house with Pearl while I took care of the dishes, "There's a venomous spider in here, come kill it!" He replied that it had been there for a long time. I guess he didn't hear the venomous part and thought I was referring to the big spindly-legged spider whom I have allowed to live above the dishdrainer for a few weeks with the express understanding that it is to dispatch any of the super annoying fruit flies that come its way. Personally I don't think it's holding up its end of the bargain.

My husband handed me the baby and got the flyswatter while I told him not to let it get away! Then he smushed it.

Now I am imagining that my kitchen is full of brown recluses. The good thing about brown recluses is that their bites don't generally kill people and they have to be pressed against human skin to be able to bite them at all. Still, you can bet I'm going to be digging around in my cupboards a lot more gingerly from now on. Those fangs were huge.

I've Been Neglecting My Houseplants and Several of Them Have Died

But my African violet is blooming for the first time in two years:

Guess I've been overwatering it all this time!

Sunshine Baby

Windy Day, Fast Moving Clouds

If you enjoy, as I certainly do, looking at and photographing the heavens you should check out Enchanted Ceiling, a website full of user submitted sky photos from around the globe.